“Honesty”

I’m so tired. Tired of never being enough. Tired of being too much. Tired of being shut down, and then always let down. I’m sorry is all I ever get to say because it’s always my fault for being upset. I’m too emotional, I’m too loud, I’m too blunt. I’m too sick. I’m too anything that dares to be honest. Because Honesty is terrifying. Honesty isn’t ok. Humanity is no longer allowed to feel. We all wear a mask because anything less would be embarrassing. I can’t keep holding it anymore. All I want is for someone to tell me it’s ok, to let me be myself without always having to apologize for it. I’m sorry all the time and it never makes a difference. I want to be accepted. I want to be loved. I want to find my equal who appreciates my brazen qualities. I want someone to be just as brazen back. But no one ever cares. People are so selfish and ignorant they can’t see past their own problems. They’ve become so good at lying to everyone, including themselves, that honesty itself has become a lie, and half- truths are the closest to reality we’ll ever get.