Argh, I ne'er got muffin top before - why now!?


Once upon a time yours truly did allow
himself to consume anything in sight
eats of mine in the mein
included an assortment of chow.


Impossible firm me
(read my bookish self
a schlepping schlemiel,
with schmaltz and chutzpah
stationed at Highland Manor
in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania)
to compete with Adonis,

no way no chance
asthma gut busts over
waistband of sweatpants,
the choice couture,

asper this poet, who kant's
cease spewing regularly
(quotidian) raves and rants

years ago (another lifetime),
I partook of contra dance
(the most fun one can experience

while being clothed)
sing, (and most casual suitable
place to find romance)

plus burn calories matter of fact,
a milieu to buff and enhance

physique, while simultaneously
kibitizing with great expanse

of pleasant gals and guys

one must not be afraid to prance,
(albeit in accordance

with a caller on stage,
and maintain endurance)
synonymous with aerobic exercise,

and also women act flirtatiously
coquettishly, and amorously glance

sing and/or stealing a French fried

kiss, yup dashing all
the way out to France,
yet returning just in time
and adopting being proper,
or improper instance

all the while sustaining
the energetic activity over expanse
of a few hours (traditionally
held on Thursday evenings)

and for that block

of time held in a trance,

asper...analogous to
spellbinding arrow or lance
suspended part way thru flight,
cuz all troubles
temporarily melt away

which venue mentioned,
which small number

of bucks one did pay
to participate among

mine weekly highpoint,
where life liberty,


and pursuit of happiness
which place this then akin to a cray
zee lee whirling dervish, did pine
to spruced himself up,

and ready to hay
for four (analogous to two couples
tracing a figure eight
on the floor with their feet),
thus sped without delay
this bag of lovely bones hapt tubby
more more trim, unlike

less physically fit body of today

and scant finances find me
foregoing joyfully
listening to musicians play
and healthily exhausted
with closing waltz,
thence out tummy car,
yours truly did sashay
and promenade over the rainbow
acquiring spouse worth
more than fine spun gold,


cuzI met me beloved spouse,
(and biological mother
of me now deux grown daughters)
at Summit Presbyterian Church
6757 Greene Street, Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania 19119
almost three decades ago,
where we did precariously
balance and swing and gypsy
while tenuously tethered
to a ladies chain.

  • Author: rew4er2nail (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 26th, 2024 13:37
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 3
  • User favorite of this poem: jarcher54.
Get a free collection of Classic Poetry ↓

Receive the ebook in seconds 50 poems from 50 different authors


  • jarcher54

    By the end I was breathless following along with the dance... great fun, truly inspired!

To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.