Not Worth Loving

I look at other people's life with a longing sigh,
They seem to enjoy it, they are a better person than me.
I wish so desperately to be something like that,
But then I look in the mirror and see what everyone else can see.

High-strung and brazen, rude and manipulative,
A devil in the making, not the 'angel' for someone to see.
People text me numerous nicknames but we know I don't deserve it,
If only they could see what I see, would they even glance at me?

I'm not polite, no. That's not my quality. 
But how on Earth does that make me a person not loving?
They say you're in school, you'll get over it, you'll never be as lonely.
How do I tell them, honey, it's my life you're defining?

I've lived not long, just a tender 14.
But I can still feel my heartstrings being tugged,
When I see how better off people are without me.
How do I tell them hello and goodbye?

Yeah, when you read it, the poem's pretty depressing.
But I am not a songwriter who can put a pretty tune to it.
To someone who barely gives a crap about me,
Why do I give them everything?

Why am I not like everyone else? 
Those who can smile and pretend everything's fine?
I wish I could be polite to those I wanna hit with a hammer,
But like I said, I don't have such finer qualities. 

"Love me or hate me" Yeah, that works for me.
Because otherwise you'll look at me like I'm nothing.
I probably am, but should someone else know it?
After all, I'm a person who is just not worth loving?

-InsanelyHilarious