Disappear

I'm bout to disappear
On outta here
I said I'm bout to disappear
On outta here
So that I don't have to deal
With this constant fear
That is always near

Always so close
Like close the door
Don't let no one in
Bout to beat you for all your sins
Put all my thoughts in a bag
And start beating them with a bat
I ain't apologizing for that
Just want to disappear
On outta here
To escape all this constant fear
Voices are all I hear
Within my ears
Left and right
Day and night
In and out
They only ever shout
Oh ever so loud
Sounding so proud
For tearing me down
They attack me with so much hate
Bringing along so much fear
I just wish I could disappear

I'm bout to disappear
On outta here
I said I'm bout to disappear
On outta here
So that I don't have to deal
With this constant fear
That is always near

I've been dealing with this shit on my own
Got no one to call on my phone
Got no place to call my home
Cause I'm all alone
In this world that I'm living in
I swear that I'm giving in
Cause there's no fixing them
Are you even listening? (Are you even listening?)
I need some new inspiration
I'm loosing my motivation
And all my dedication
I've tried meditation
And some medication
It's not working
These voices are still lurking
In the back darkness of my mind, back of my mind
They come back stronger all the time, back all the time
Please someone give me a sign
Of any kind
To let me know that it'll get better
And it won't be like this forever
And if not

I'm bout to disappear
On outta here
I said I'm bout to disappear
On outta here
So that I don't have to deal
With this constant fear
That is always near

I don't understand
These voices in my head
I don't want to be alive, instead
I'd rather be dead
Don't want to be stuffed with meds
Just wanna lay in my bed
And drift asleep
Hoping not to wake up
Have to put on some make up
To hide these emotions
All I want to do is lay down
And I'm not even tired
I wish I could just rewire
My thoughts
So I can finally think positively
If I'm speaking honestly
I don't know how much I have left to give
Don't know how much longer I have to live
So you know what?

I'm bout to disappear
On outta here
I said I'm bout to disappear
On outta here
So that I don't have to deal
With this constant fear
That is always near
About to kill myself so
Goodbye, time to disappear