I've Fallen

Here we are again

Stuck and drowning in a pool of darkness

The pool that I made, and no fake friend

Could ever pull me out of it

Here they are again

The people who make belittle and maim me with their tongue

Who test my limits and squeeze my worth until there's nothing but black or red

Until my last bit of sanity and passionate devotion are flung

Out of the sharp-edged door, laying there, bleeding on a blood bed

Of twisting vines and insidious, beautiful roses

The thorns and vines writhing and closing round my mouth, throat, and wrists

Unable to scream or move on as the door closes

As I get lashed and squeezed as if I no longer need to exist

But that's just all in my mind

All in my mind, right?

But if it was then how come I feel every thrash and stab

Every scar and bruise

No, its not just a dream of my broken mind gone mad

But something real, a bomb to diffuse

Before it blows my soul and being into a million pieces

And I'm left there to pick them all up

To try and put myself back together, a million fissures and creases

Along my once innocent and happy body, but I just had to overfill my cup

And spill my blood along all the white walls

That were meant to keep me safe

And whenever I show someone, they just stand there, appalled

At all the smears and bloodstains

'Who was murdered?' they would screech

'I was, by myself' I'd reply

And they would run away from my beseeches

To just accept all my good and bad sides

Tired of all it, I drag myself through the day

Pull my broken parts together and plaster a fake smile on my face

Pretending so they don't push me away

Being someone I'm not to be accepted without grace

Falling perpetually, like an angels demise

Attempting, reaching, struggling to surmise

Why this is all done to me

My wings and halo, withering and blowing like ash in the wind

My eyes that can no longer see

No longer aware of my limbs

The pain overtaking everything

As I get torn apart

Because no one cares, they'll just use my blood for their art

And I'll be nothing, no one, already forgotten

Just another one of the fallen