Back To One

The day that you left, it felt like my whole world came crashing down,

And that there was no way that I was going to be able to pick myself up off of the ground.

For the past four years, I have torn myself apart trying to figure you out,

And I so badly wanted it to be true, despite all of the fear, anxiety, and doubt.

I should have known from the start that it wasn’t meant to be,

Because it would have happened, and I wouldn’t have had to beg you to stay with me.

I so badly wanted it to be you, I really, really did,

Because it was the kind of love that I had been hoping for since I was a kid.

And for three days, I continued to cry as the rest of me fell apart piece by piece,

And I thought the pain that I was carrying in my chest was never going to seize.

But as I cut you off, and time went on, it began to hurt less and less,

And I knew that one day I would be okay, and that I wouldn’t continue to be such a mess.

And yes there were highs and lows along the way,

But I just needed to let the healing take its time, and I knew that I would continue to get better 

day by day.

I guess you got what you wanted, because now we don’t talk,

And even though I am healing, right now , there is still a part of my heart that is on lock.

That is still waiting for the slight chance that it could happen one day,

But I am no longer going to be waiting for things to play out that way.

Maybe we were better off as friends, but I so badly wanted it be something more,

And no matter how hard I tried, I was not able to shut that door.

Because you couldn’t help that you didn’t love me, the same way that I couldn’t help that I loved 

you,

And there was nothing else either of us could have done, and there was nothing left for either of 

us to do. 

So I am getting better day by day, but I do still have my moments where the scars open again,

Because I lost you as a lover, and now I lost you as a friend.

For now it hurts, but one day I will start to be okay,

Because right now it is only day one, and I will be able to continue to move forward day after 

day.