Who am I?

 

They say I’m British,

But I’m not.

I tell them I’m happy,

But I’m lying to them.

I pretend to be alive,

Although I’m dead inside.

 

I say I’m upset,

I’m really just fine.

I say I’m exhausted,

But I’m wide awake.

 

You believe all the lies they tell,

But you don’t know what’s true.

They tell you that I’m rude,

But I’m never rude to you.

 

I tell you I don’t believe in God,

But that’s simply not true.

I mean, I like to think I’m a Christian,

But It’s hard to live the way I’m supposed to.

 

I say I’m thriving,

When I’m really just surviving.

I say I’m wide awake,

But I’m falling asleep where I stand.

 

I tell you I’m strong,

But my emotions are not.

I say I can handle it,

But  I really need help.

 

I say that I’m brave,

But I’m incredibly afraid.

I say I don’t hold onto the past,

But the past won’t let me go.

 

So who am I really? 

Can anyone tell? 

I don’t know,

And maybe I never will.