My name is Mary Judith MaCallister.
The Mary part is after the Mother of God.
The Judith part is after my Grandmother.
I was born blind.
The doctors told my Mother that I
most likely had Leber congenital amaurosis (LCA)
It doesn’t matter how fancy the name is
the end result is I have never been able to see.
Not in the traditional sense anyway.
in every other way I’m a typical teenager,14 and a half.
My story is a story of feelings.
Where most people can tell you what
something looks like I will have to tell you how it feels.
For the longest time I felt nothing different.
It was only when my Mother took me to our local park
and left me alone in the middle. She said I should
follow my other senses and find my way to her.
I was scared at first until I reminded myself:
“Mary MaCallister you are named after the Mother of God
You have got this girl.”
I Stood tall. All 5ft 3inches. I turned slowly around until
I could smell her perfume.
She always wore Flowerbomb By Viktor & Rolf, Eau De Parfum Spray.
It took a bit of time but I found her and we hugged
for the longest time.
I was left alone a lot as a child.
The other children in the street ignored me mostly.
I would sit for hours feeling leaves and flowers. The shapes and the smells.
I would often pray to Gentle Jesus because in the Bible
it says that he could make the Blind see.
I guess he doesn’t answer all prays because I’m still blind.
One day at school we had the “talk”.
Our teacher told us how babies were born.
It never occurred to me that I would ever have a baby.
Anyway alone in my room I started to feel down there.
It was strange. It was hairy and soft. I couldn’t believe that
babies could come out of that tiny place.
I remember feeling the Sun on my skin. It was so warm
and wonderful. It was hard to believe that the Sun was
what made most people see and yet I couldn’t see with it.
or maybe I could.
Maybe I could see the world just in a different way.
I don’t pray to Jesus any more. I have invented my own
world. It is a world of warmth and softness just like me.