It Still Hurts

I feel myself slowly starting to get better everyday,

But every once in a while, it still hurts, and I knew that it was going to be this way.

And I find myself still wishing that you would come back,

But I know that is because there is still a lot of strength that I lack.

And every once in a while it hits me like a ton of bricks,

And I am reminded that my feelings for you are always going to be mixed. 

Because I do want to talk to you, just as a friend,

And I don’t feel like this was how our story was supposed to end.

But I need to remind myself, that if you wanted to talk to me, you would,

And that I shouldn’t always be the one to reach out, every once in a while you should.

And the second I showed you how much I cared, you took it for granted,

But you knew what you were doing, and you were watering the seed that you planted.

You never wanted to love me, but you also never wanted me to leave,

And now you are the one who is going to have to grieve.

Because I know that it hurts you just as much as me,

And that things will never go back to how they used to be.

Because I know as much as I want to, I can never reach out,

And this is something that I know without a doubt.

But if I were to ever try and talk to you, you will know that you won,

And that when it comes to finding someone better than you, there is none.

And I know me reaching out is exactly what you want, because you want to ensure that you still 

have a hold on me,

But that is something that I am never going to allow you to see.

I will never give you the pleasure of knowing you still have a piece of my heart,

And I have worked so hard to let you go, and I am not about to restart.

Letting you know that even though I am still trying my best,

I still want to be with you, because you are better than the rest.

And there is still that little piece of me that hopes when my phone goes off, it’s you,

Because I hate to admit it, I still love you, and you still control a lot of what I do.