plan b

non-verbally communicating scars with sly snapchat private stories and quiet cries in bed.

ugly tears from the boy my parents spent so much money on, what a dumb investment.

people depending on me to succeed, but i don’t see much potential in myself.

eighteen and i can’t talk to strangers, the longest bitch i’ve been with was three weeks.

how can i be successful when i can’t spread my own seed, i’m shackled to this body.

i’m not good at geometry, am i looking at myself from the wrong angle, what’s your pov?

get close with me, feel the rotten disgust that sits in between the fat, then you’ll leave. 

dreamin’ of a flat stanley, wastin’ the potential, my parents shoulda invested in plan b.

maybe then i would be free of my burdens because my life woulda ended earlier.

maybe they would make a new child with hair that was curlier and was the starting qb.

he would play division three football and meet the love of his life in his junior year.

propose to her after getting his lifelong job, a lovely vacation on the west coast.

the best toast from his best-friend best man, cake on her face, picture-perf wedding.

lay her down on the bedding and have a budding night with a daughter coming soon.

a son will form in her womb too, the kid that reminds them of his grandfather.

he even named his kid after his father too and they will live in joy for years.

yeah, i think my parents would like that, maybe mom shoulda swallowed that pill.

because my own plan b is dying in pure bliss and kissing goodbye to this life.

if i fail with my own plans, then give me an open-casket, some flowers in a vase.

suffering silently nearly every night, i stay up and do an indiana pace.

no longer chasin’ after the love, letting it leave like a white dove in the sky.

i don’t wanna see a happy relationship in my life, it’s a case i’ve closed.

putting on the gloves and digging my grave because i’ve been depraved. 

i’ve been failing at this romance stuff for a while now, i’ve been unlovable.

hated the body i made for myself, felt untouchable for a dimepiece to feel.

looked at a girl and looked away because it felt like a crime and i don’t wanna do time. 

don’t come near me anymore, don’t enter the world i live in because you’ll drown.

i’ll give your smile a terrible frown, i’m a bad clown and look like one too.

few people give me the time of day, so i guess plan b is set in motion.

took a personal day for the beach because i’m gonna swim face-down.