"Bottle Of Ash"

"Bottle Of Ash"

 

Dear alcohol,

You were my closest friend, I thought you loved me, with all your deepest sympathy. You took my hurt away as, you held my hand all day. For 16 years you held back my tears and fears,from all this abuse I had to endure. Truly I thought you were my friend forever more. Day by day, drink by drink,you helped me not to think,think about the years of emotional and physical scars. Yes, you were my shooting star, as I wished, and slowly took you to my lips for that sweet gentle kiss. Alcohol, you made such good love to me, to the point where I was to blind to see. Blind to see, what was really happening to me. Alcohol, my friend, you taught me to sin, helped me to end loving relations that were supposed to last, but all I could live was you in a glass. I know now that you're not my friend, and you were never there for me. As I went through detox, shaking like a leaf on a tree, sweating as it were rain,feeling insane from the pain of our separation, even as you kept calling me over and over again. You called to me even in my sleep, as you seeped out of my skin. I now know you wanted my life to end. You truly are, by far, the beast in a hollow bottle, that had me down in the bottom of your slippery glass skin. For you are definitely an evil friend. Now, we must part and say goodbye. I must be free to fly cause, Alcohol, you tried to make me die and I want to live free, free to feel, and not be afraid to heal. Heal from the things that life brings whether in the present or the past. I will carry on, and damn sure last, without wrapping my lips around that glass. Reaching out for those who hurt or care, and this is what I come to bare, about you Alcohol. My message is this,that you Alcohol, kept me from me; blind folded me, so I couldn't see the disease that's trying to kill me. Slowly, surely, you stole my soul and put my heart in this bottle for way too long. As a broken record skipping over and over on the same old song. No longer will I be your prisoner or your friend, this mission has come to an end. The war is over, I raised my white flag, and surrendered to you. It's by far from a truce, I could careless if you were my guest, giving me a case of double deuce, I wouldn't even except, not merely a drip. And, if I were to take a trip, it be without you Alcohol, this is utterly true. No more sorrow, nor anything to gain, I lost it all with the joy of understanding pain. I looked in the mirror, without you in my hand,I feel a new found sense of freedom without you around. I wake and sleep with you out of my head, and this is for sure, you're far from dead. You're just in remission and waiting for me, to see if I slip and take a sip of your poison blood. But I'm going to get the tools necessary, to see through your tricks, so I won't slip into your trap o booze, 'cause if I do I will surely lose. Bourbon used to help me from hurtin'. Now, I have friends that beat the beast within the bottle for many, many years and through great puddles of tears without drowning their sorrows in beers. Before I drink, I have to think, that the phone is lighter, than a 40 Oz. Beer. My new found sober friends will always be near, and full of cheer, as I speak my happiness or hurt in their ear, and not in that glass of beer. My road to recovery will be up to me, whether to stay or go. But here I am, and I most definitely know what will happen if I go, I will not come back, this disease will surely kill me, as quick as a heart attack. So, I must say, I will stay and listen and learn, so I don't crash and burn. I have found wisdom and inspiration in these rooms, more than ever than in a bottle of booze. Inside here, our heads are clear, on the fact, that there is no cheer in a mug of beer, or a shot of the Hard stuff. Alcohol, I have survived you, through many, many of whiskey and beers, I feel no remorse to say goodbye, for I did not die. You got most of my adolescent days, and I still strayed away from you. It was the most hardest thing to do, but the fight isn't dine, it's only begun. I know you will try to attack me, to say the least, 'Cause you truly are the beast that sits on shelves and yell to people to come and see me, taste me, drink me. Well, understand me, there's more of us that suffer from you, we are an army that will attack, just by turning our backs on you. We will stand united as one, and will not let another be harmed by you, only if he or she wants to have a drink from you, but we still won't fail, long as we come to these rooms, 

"WE WILL PREVAIL"

 

My final words to you, Alcohol evil fiend: Never again will we be friends! I know something greater than you. My Higher Power will carry me through sad, mad, happy, or hurt. Never again will I lie in the dirt, because of you I woke in places I've never dreamed, filled with anguish and screams, I will not feel again as we did when we parted, for my life has just started to know serenity and peace, grateful to not crave as I wake, to be for real and not fake, no longer hollow as an empty bottle deep inside, but hit my knees to my Higher Power thankful to be alive, and have survived the beast that hid deep inside, and has been replaced to help me face the long recovery ahead, for through prayer, the beast will be dead in me...

 

By. Eric Kanelopoulos 

#OneDayAtATime💯💙💙💙