Questions

I don’t know who I’m writing to
Don’t really believe in god
But think there’s gotta be a higher power
Someone who looks over us
Don’t know who I’m writing to
But I’ve got a lot of questions
That need to be heard
Questions that I bet many others have
But are too afraid to ask
Got so many questions
So let me just ask
Why is it that you only ever take the good ones?
You take the ones who deserve to live
The ones who make a positive impact within this world
The ones who inspire little boys and girls
To reach their full potential
Why do you only ever take our loved ones?
The ones who care for more than just themselves
The ones who care for everyone else
Why do you have to take them?
Why don’t you take all the evil instead?
I’m not telling you how to do your job
I know you do everything for a reason
I know everything happens for a reason
I’m not saying to exchange lives, nah
I’m just saying please just think before you take them
Think of all the people they love
Think of their family
Think of all the people they’ve hurt
Think of all the evil they’ve earned
Can you stop taking the good ones?
Can you stop taking our loved ones?
I’m just asking the hard thought questions
That many of us have
When we loose a loved one
That’s the worst feeling
Nothing you could’ve done
Wishing you had more time with them
Wishing you took five minutes to pick up the phone to just say hi
And to say I love you
Wishing you didn’t argue
As much as you did
Never gonna get that time back
Don’t want to accept that fact
But deep down you know that
That you’ll never see them again
Will never speak to them again
Never hear their voice
Never see their smile
Never feel their loving touch
Leaving a forever hole in you
So I’ve gotta ask the question
Why do you take away our family and friends from us?
Why is it you always take the good ones?
The ones who deserve to live
Should’ve taken me instead
When I was in that depressed
Mind state
Should’ve taken me instead,
Let the others live
They have so much more to give
Would have exchanged my life in a heart beat
If that meant someone more loving got to stay
If that meant a son or daughter could see their mother for just one more day
If that meant the tears of others would be replaced by smiles
Would’ve done that in a heart beat
I have no doubt
Don’t know if any of this is your doing
Not trying to step over any boundaries
Honestly
I’m just venting
Need to let go of these questions

Got some more questions
More directed towards me now
Why did you chose me?
Chose me to live in the agony
Why did you give me these demons?
That haunted me for years to come
Why me?
What did I do to deserve it?
They made me feel so worthless
Why didn’t you just end it?
When I asked for it?
Didn’t have the will power to do it myself
So asked you to take me away
Cause I couldn’t handle all the pain
For 8 fucking years I had to deal with it
As a kid no less
That’s something no kid should ever have to deal with
So I ask again
How do you chose?
How do you chose the ones who suffer?
The ones who want their lives to end every minute of every day
I honestly don’t know what to say
Again I’m just venting
Got so many questions
Just rambling on
Might not make any sense
But need to get this off my chest
Just got so many questions
Need to let go of these questions

Why are there kids dying?
Haven’t lived their life yet
Dying from cancer
Dying from starvation
Dying from war
Dying from depression
What did any of them do to deserve that?
Giving little children panic attacks
When they don’t even know what a panic attack is
What is this?
Letting kids be insecure
At every turn
Hating themselves
Hurting themselves
Not knowing anything else
I don’t understand the thinking behind it
I don’t understand the decision behind it
Kids dying before they are even born
Leaving their families torn
Don’t understand it
Trying to wrap my head around it
Which is why I need to let go of these questions
I know they won’t be answered
But just asking them is letting a burden go
Still don’t know
What’s the point of all this pain?
Can you at least tell me the gain?
What are we gaining from this?
From seeing our children die
From seeing our loved ones die
From seeing our role models die
From seeing all the good in the world
Dissipate into nothingness
Leaving only war behind
Leaving only hatred
Leaving behind a vacant
Hole in our hearts
Having everyone hurt
Sorry I’m going off on a tangent
Just venting right now
Just imagining the worst
Just dealing with some hurt
But I know it’s not your fault
It’s just the devils work