Hey everyone.
While I'm not back yet I'm throwing in an update. My surgery went well. I'm in so much pain! But hopefully the end result will be worth it. I'm fused from my shoulder blades to my tailbone. It feels about like I thought that it would. Not being able to wipe myself without a special tool is a bit disheartening. But I'll adapt.
Another shout out to Mason. He kept his word to try to include me in things. And even though I didn't participate in the fusion poems, I did appreciate the invitation. Our second battle is coming soon. And I look forward to my upcoming second loss...
I ask for everyone's opinion... I'm changing my profile picture soon. Should the new one be an X-ray of my back post surgery from the side, an X-ray of my back post surgery from the back, or a picture of my back taken last night during the wound check with the outer bandages removed?
Please let me know. Thank you for actually caring everyone.
The winner is the picture of my back scar during first wound check with outer bandages removed!
By Chad Carlson
It is nothing you can see
It's born of dark inside of me
Calculating everything
To break away and take the reigns
I have lived an eventful life
Broken bones to mark the times
Pins and plates to keep me whole
But I've always had control
Parted lips a bloody smile
Roar like a beast eyes wide and wild
Must focus on that dreaded task
To maintain myself keep darkness back
Pushing limits too far at times
To keep control of what is mine
My brain was damaged when skull was cracked
Can barely perform the simplest tasks
When there's nothing left to break
I'll step back and give it reigns
It does no good for it to try
The shell is to damaged it has to die
In cowardly fashion the darkness flees
Cannot die in the shell of me
I reclaim the reigns just in time
Try to keep my vital signs
The pain is blinding but I don't mind
It lets me know I'm still alive
Try to focus try to move
Nothing happens it's way too soon
A shadow falls across my eyes
I hear a voice that I recognize
It mocks my failure but to my surprise
It gives me credit because I tried
The last thing that it said to me
It's my shell now I have the keys
I feel my essence start to fade
The broken spots are whole again
The darkness prevailed my time is done
Word of warning... if... you... meet me...
RUN!!!
(Based quite loosely on my real injuries and an overactive imagination.)
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Author:
Chad Carlson (
Offline) - Published: March 25th, 2024 09:42
- Comment from author about the poem: My neck is fused from C-5 to C-7. My back is fused from T-12 to S-2 with pelvic anchor screws to try to make things stable. I had hip surgery in December and tomorrow 3/26/24 I go to the hospital for 3 MRIs and 2 CT scans. Then I see my neurosurgeon to determine if I need more fusion surgery. I've been through some things 🤦♂️ Be sure to check out the YouTube video part of the roar like a beast comes partly from the haunted house that some friends and myself designed and acted in. I'm in the first scene. You can't see me but you can hear me LOL.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 5
Offline)
Comments1
Sounds like you've been through and are going through a lot. Good luck with everything. The fact that you are channeling this into creativity is really something.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your kind words. I appreciate it more than I can ever express. I will add more content as the days progress. I understand why only one post is allowed per day, but I really want to add more. Please check back for more.
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