The Fake Fantasy

The way you try and continue to build my mind and to fool it into the life you want with me, it's sad that it really makes me think yea maybe it could be, maybe it more then what it seems. I'd make excuses for you even in my mind and heart. Id dismiss how absent you really are. There's times your here but it's very often. I was so drawn to you. But I let you go once and it hurt like hell. I thought maybe my time away would have you relish all the effort I put in to keep you around to where I didn't have to practically beg to have your time. At first when I let you back it that's what it seemed but then it's back to me mainly have all the girls together I know your tired frustrated at the end I get I do I get that way but I feel I more present I'm going more then the extra mile and barley getting at least some time with you. So should I stay should we really move in should we really try to create this fantasy. I feel if I do move with you that I'll be like a built in baby sitter and I get that helping supporting all of it but I don't want it to be one side sometime side what ever you want to call it besides what we'd fantasie over. I don't know if I should walk away. I'm not sure what to really do. I'm sorry if you see this but I need to let it out maybe I need to let go completely.