in love and in fear

queer-with-a-pen

pirate with a fear of drowning,
bard with a fear of loving,
but i lashed myself to the mast anyway,
and sang until my voice gave out

and that’s the same kind of
fear, in a way,
so close to giving in to the sweet
call of the unknown,
wondering if the loose threads in the
well-worn sleeves of your sweater will
finally unravel if i stray too far
from where i’ve been holding on

i won’t dash my ship upon the
rocks this time, will stay out
past the breakers and squint up at
where i imagine you to be when the
bright yellow from that lonely lighthouse
bathes my sins in gold 

maybe i’ll even walk away
just about unscathed, too,
promises that still echo across the
empty stage of my heart,
eagerly awaiting when you’ll be able
to, willing to, understand this tongue

and there’s fear in that, too
under all that love, it’s just fear,
and this shouldn’t come as a surprise

and maybe this one isn’t for you,
but it’s certainly about you,
just the same 

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Comments1

  • James Michael

    Laced with your ability to combine imagery with words so incredibly well! I won’t analyze too much, I’ve had a few pints and a martini my son made for me!

    Hope you have been well my friend, it’s comforting to know you haven’t given up on this site.

    • queer-with-a-pen

      Always good yo hear from you, my friend!

      I feel like it was late when I wrote this poem. While I haven’t drank first to write about the captain in years, it’s easier at night. This is right on the cusp of being in love and angry about it. At myself, mostly. But the heart wants what it wants.



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