Four Years

Four years since the day that I have found out your name,

Four years since I have never been the same.

Four years since the first time I saw that smile,

Four years that I can recall not being okay for a while.

Four years since I thought I had met the love of my life,

Four years since you slowly started to stab me in the back with a knife.

Four years since my heart broke into a tiny bits,

Four years since I realized that me and you needed to call it quits.

Four years since I started to feel whole again,

Four years since I was able to call you a friend.

Four years of memories suddenly down the drain,

Four years of realizing that I am the only one to blame.

Four years of knowing that my heart will only beat for you,

Four years of trying everything to try and make it through.

Four years of ripping my mind apart trying to discover what to do,

Four years of having every thought in my mind having to do with you.

Four years of knowing that I will never be what you want,

Four years of replaying memories that will always continue to haunt. 

Four years of trying to get better every single day,

Four years of knowing that I will never be okay.

Four years of knowing that you ruined love for me,

Four years of trying to accept the fact that me and you will never be.

Four years of crying myself to sleep every night,

Four years of trying my best, and still not having it be right.

Four years of you being happy while I am crying all the time,

Four years of knowing that you will never be mine.

Four years of trying my best and it still not be enough,

Four years of accepting the fact that from here on out, life is going to be tough.

Four years of trying to let you go,

Four years of trying to convince myself of everything that I already know. 

Four years of turning my whole life upside down,

Four years of reminding myself that you no longer live in this town.

Four years of knowing that you will never love me back, no matter how much I love you,

Four years of knowing that loving you is something that I will always do.