Innocent

Little me, 

I'm so sorry for all the ways I've failed you

You're supposed to be here with me

But I've left you long behind

Not by choice, but by necessity

I pushed you away so you wouldn't see what I've become 

You'd be so disappointed in me

And with good reason

I too hate the person I am today

I'm not deserving of your smile or your hugs

I can't look at you 

Knowing your innocence will so often be betrayed 

And that I was helpless to stop it

Little me,

I'm so sorry but I have to go away again

I can't let you see my darkness

Because what if you look at me and start to hate yourself too?