Still wrestling with impasse to contentment

Dispense sing with fidelity blithely agog

just me and mine dark shadow

slinking along outer limits of

the edge of night doth blog

passivity, the path

of least resistance ohm my dog,

shocking voltage amply

surges an emphatic YES,

verboten fruit adrip

with succulent juices as eggnog,

 

a legitimately valid

reason and rhyme to flog

reprobate yours truly

figuratively doth emasculate,
thee catchword to extricate

being emotionally hogtied
warrants immediate attention,
regarding consummating series

of prurient disadvantageous

née self destructive events.

The best idea to expound upon,
while attempting creative

exuding genital intonations to jog

all mein kampf,

I felt like a bump on a log

please... don't be hesitant

not to reserve judgement
towards this miscreant husband

whom identifies himself

as a dirt Poe imp of the pervert

analogous to rumpelstiltskin fable

whereby Lothario wannabe
boasts stud deed fallaciousness,

whose noggin of mine

shaped as an egghead

topped off with pinhead blocked nog,

one aging long haired pencil neck geek

never reached maturity forever a pollywog

until froggy went a courtin'
into marital quagmire

woody peckerhead did slog.

 

More clearly, plainly and succinctly,

one groveling, non-feeling, and sniveling

poor excuse for masculinity,
(and upstanding laughingstock

regarding spindleshanks),
I continually experience

unrepentant (unforgivable)
humility, futility, and disrepectability
hence lame justification
Matthew Scott Harris
sought adultery, cuckoldry, effrontery...,

which unwise choices attempted
(pun intended) to fill a void

 

sexual propensity linkedin with precepts

attributed courtesy Sigmund Freud,

though skepticism skirted

shirked getting caught red handed

sneaky shenanigans employed

barenaked lady hardcore psychoanalysis

downplayed, or Oedipus complex

shrugged off Fountainhead (heavier imposition
versus Atlas shrugged) fails to bridge
(do not as Kwai)

any heavy mettle alloyed

within me psyche,

and windmills of my mind.

 

Handy dandy blues clues

existential mid life crisis

lacked absolute zero justification
why yours truly fraught

with hormonal secretion

embarked on warpath for concupiscence

gallivanting, frolicking, engineering

foot loose and fancy free

sabotaged matrimonial covenant,
whereby I regularly posted and answered

 

personal classified advertisement

with popular Craigslist website,

thus no surprise when presto digitation,

I met gal headquartered
in Coatesville or Downingtown;

she drove to Evansburg State Park

rearing to tame bucking bronco (me)

quashing, invalidating, contravening...

conjugal contractual obligation

renting asunder mine vocalized vow

to remain faithful thru thick and/or thin

seeking alternative orgasmic opportunity

feeble minded excuse

regarding irreconcilable differences

a vague catchall phrase

antithetical contrary to pledged troth,

embarking on maiden voyage

nsync with barenaked lady

partaking moist and meaty tender vittles.

 

I feebly attempted to compensate

for dearth of absent teenage

Ninja mutant turtles

reptile brain and brawn bravado

investigated dating app experiences,

thus violated wedded vow think tryst
I yearned, trended and jump/kick started

Casanova paramour wannabe
years later subsequently

regretted quintessentially philandering

 

utterly disgusted at my illicit behavior

and negligence neglecting

attentiveness to offspring and spouse

forswore doting upon then

high school age daughters,

rightfully thee eldest one

(born 12/22/1996) still pissed

and compromised, jeopardized,
and undermined paternal priority spawning

selfish prurient dalliances,

 

I das scribe, how now

brown cow objectionable
frolicking courtesy Sly

And The Family Stone

payback a bitch, cuz
I feel in funky (flunky) mood,

verses when scads of Earth orbitz ago,
(round about January
two thousand and ten)

he profusely kissed

 

mouth of other voluptuous
(zoftig) older women
(consensually, flatteringly, indiscriminately)

and amazingly, kindly, thankfully... enough

in due time spouse did willingly insist

to forgive, boot never forget

long since discounting

divorce from wife

nevertheless, remaining thermally uncoupled
mandated unconditional armistice

 

eventually note hissed

matter of fact I dreamt
at time these lines penned
(then earlier today that May twenty ninth
two thousand and twenty two), the gist

regarding soldier of self made misfortune

toying and tinkering harming self

casually eyed sharp pointed objects
offered especial attraction

pondering hoop fully connive fist

 

(cuffed) around handles of cutlery

at primal, gonadal,

and brutal predilections

now... finding very little reason to exist,

hence understandably dissed

(until death do me part)

unbridled love and apology

toward thee missus and progeny,

who forever did blacklist

writ blood ginned curses

with will.i.am blackened barbs.

 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder,

thus very little paternal

(filial) love expressed

and she chose to live yonder
Oakland, California

her then temporary dwelling

no matter, her papa

blatantly confessed depravity

YES, more'n his eye did wonder.

 

At present petty coated junction

non petty irreparable schism

doth rank as horrendous
on par me adopting fascism

forever sullied image ("daddy's girl"),
who once thought the world of me

selfish misdeeds done dirt cheap

buzzfeeding swelling egoism

no more how enlightened I became

 

ex post facto, pure unconditional acceptance

refracted light risqué behavior thru prism

where primary parental accountability
not satisfactorily explained away courtesy

Darwinism (to con seed genes), nor chauvinism,

whereby ever since time immemorial
repentance will forever be belabored

by me flagrantly disregarding monogamy

courtesy hardened libido

making mockery and travesty marital covenant.