Captain kuni-lemel graduate strikes again - updated

Steely Dan sing queen (me)

outdid himself on sixtieth anniversary
after Grahame Wood

determined to meet

the evolving needs of the community

opened the first Wawa Food Market
in Folsom, PA, on April 16, 1964.

Today marked the sixth decade

since George Wood started

the Wawa dairy in 1902,

and it quickly became

a trusted name for fresh,

quality dairy.

As an unsung Patrons of said store,
I strove to achieve mitzvah

for an incapacitated wheelchair bound
resident here at Highland Manor Apartments.

The fickle finger (hut) of fate
unknowingly planned to liquidate
honest to dog sincere intentions
to deliver said drinkable goods
(you can bet your bottom dollar)
on his sterling promise
never foreseeing disastrous
misadventure out ranking

starry eyed bespectacled klutz

comprising the heart of this poem at any rate
(nitty gritty details omitted),
but essentially and summarily
spilled contents from three

twenty ounce cups of hotly perked coffee
scalding himself in the process,

where epithets spewed
inadequately served at X-rate.

I asked him if he liked coffee
cuz today aforementioned vendor
acknowledged the brainchild
offering buzzfeeding caffeinated brew free
American chain of convenience stores
and gas stations originating
in the Philadelphia metropolitan area,
and now located along the East Coast
of the United States,
operating in Pennsylvania, New Jersey,
Delaware, Maryland, Virginia,
Washington, D.C., and Florida.

The remaining lines of this reasonable rhyme

garnered courtesy an endeavor

attempted quite some years ago
attempt bordering on the ridiculous to the sublime.

Even when iron not red hot,

I implement non customary quirks

regarding going for broke into survivor mode
asia foreigner rather cold as ice

namely delinquent outsize credit card debt

mandates yours truly,
a cheesy survivor who rem: members
putting freeze on

Citizens Bank World MasterCard accounts,

whose helplessness to fork over

substantial dollar figure

analogous to one of three blind mice,

who ran after the farmer's wife
She cut off tails (OUCH!)

with a carving knife

must pay the price

methinks food in the slammer (ha)

will lack sugar and spice,

nevertheless macht schnell trice.

I exhaled deep sigh of relief
after speaking over the telephone,

whereby Arcadia Recovery Bureau

(i.e. collection agency)

based in Reading, Pennsylvania

explained yours truly owed $23.21

which considerably alleviated
immediate dire straits that figuratively

grabbed me by the nuts

hash tagged self scoundrel

a day late dollar short

dollars to donuts bonafide klutz

living testes mint procreative

seminal squirt biological reproduction,

could never conceive to abort

despite countless occasions,

I blithely admit characteristics

linkedin with being a putz

going off rails as a one man train wreck

mine impossible mission to avoid

NOT running amok imagine

bull in a china shop
whereby the hypothetical proprietor
willing, ready able to tear out my guts.

Pigeon toed, I trip over me own little feet

size nine shoe small size for grown man

leaving utter disaster in his wake

synonymous when havoc strikes

chaos theory alive and well

ensues when I walk about

and dare take even one baby step.

Ever since adept with ability to crawl,

I ofttimes tumbled down the stairs,

but never did shed tears nor bawl

e'en when taking nosedive head first did fall

out the hatch of airplane

splattered, plastered, and matted

think suddenly feeling comfortably numb

joist another brick in wall

nevertheless acquiring stunt man role

paid big bucks

as Homo sapien disguised as Sasquatch

(cause unkempt harried styled hair)

more times than I can remember

fell to Earth minus parachute,

which hoop fully explains

the incomprehensible drawl

earnestly and frankly harkening language

once extant within Gaul

which reverberated inside hall

of mountain (lionized) king.

Prior to any madcap misadventure

yours truly envisions his clumsiness

plays out within my third eye blind

hilarious scenario unfolds in slow motion

whereby accidental flick of wrist,

barely brushes up against

flimsy clothes rack

(the original motive begetting poem)

knee jerk involuntary reaction,

kicking obstacle clear across Compton

generating comical feedback loop

impossible mission to stop

blockchain of fateful bitcoin events.

Living amidst (amongst) disarray

courtesy the missus, whose domestic habits

never merit housekeeping seal of approval

twenty four/seven pose

a hazard to mine existence.