Born to Be Crazy

How could you love me
Like a lonely boy
Like the moon
Like a dying black rose
How could you break me apart
And feel no remorse
You say it seems difficult 
Watching you paint at the café
Where I spent summer 
Dancing in a feverish ache 
Crying for the moon I love
I know it well, your masochistic ways
Such a nebulous shape 
Such a fucked up place 

I stayed up all night drinking
And it felt like Hell
Laughing in a cold room
You must know by now
I'm an alcoholic, enigma
Born to be crazy 
My love is empty 
And I think I could drink a river
Confessing in a daze 
With no clear direction
Every footfall is a romantic lull
Joking but you think I'm serious
And that's the crazy thing
Talking but making no sense 
Talking but you're not listening 

It was so easy holding onto nothing
But it was so hard letting go of everything
The youth we loved
Spilling out of parties 
The rift grew deeper between us and then
The pretending times by the lake faded
Like a shipwrecked memory 
Saying farewell to my lover
Pouring vodka and kissing in bedsheets
Fuck it, we're like Heaven 

Ain't it funny this always happens 
Splintered light cascades in your tears
As the earth rips you from the roots of love
Every wishing well is another stepping stone
Ain't it funny this always happens
Telemarketing through the frontispeace
There is no sky in my dream
The violence flies, everything is changing 
And I'm dreaming of you baby
And I am a sailor in a world of suicide
When everything is going wrong 
And nothing is going right  

Drugs are my only friend
It's been like this since I was a teenager
Dreaming of a better place
Haunted by dream music
Where I could escape
Where I could lie in his arms 
So I talk to them
And I imagine myself in his swamp 
Burrowing into boredom
I say I'm sorry for being selfish
I hate my emotions when I feel guilty 
I hate myself when I'm insecure
And I don't feel normal 
Weaving hopelessness through my fingers
Wishing I was someone else
Swept away with his careless love
But I don't think he can save me
And maybe this is my last night
And maybe this is my last song
And maybe this is my last cigarette 
Cause it's hard living without you
Remembering you like my last name
Trying to stay awake
Trying to stay awake.