father.

in a dream
i met my father again
saw him outside the window
smiling
i invited him in
and he played video games
while i wrapped myself around his legs
like a child
told him not to leave me
and sat on his feet
so he could not stand
i should have done more
made him a drink
a snack
offered a blanket
but instead, i held his hand
fingers knitted together
like a zipper
i love how hands fit together
like they were designed to be held
and i think his hands
were always meant to hold mine 

then, out of nowhere 
came an irritating kind of ringing
and my eyes opened
to see a stained ceiling
my hands had been grasping the blanket
and seemed to have doubled in size
it was as though he had been taken from me
all over again
but i know all things have an end
the same way i am writing this 
with my favourite pen
knowing it is almost out of ink

i miss my father
five short years was not enough time
but i am grateful i remember him enough
to meet him in dreams

it becomes my only motivation to sleep
i love my father
i hope he continues to be remembered 
through this pen
and me.

18:48pm - 27/04/24