The inner critic
protects me from
reality and success;
It knows best.
It reminds me of
my hopeless plight,
my dark destiny,
my night of a
thousand storms.
Councillors say,
"Examine those thoughts.
Challenge them, are
they rational? "
I nod and smile,
and somewhere there
is a sparrow in me
that wants to sing,
that agrees with
the blue skies, and
the trees, and the wings
that have carried it
away from the pain.
But then the critic
and its minions
chatter away, and
remind me of failures,
they say,
"The play has already been written.
You're just doing your part-
your small walk-on part.
You don't get to rewrite it.
It's been written, it's finished.
You being a writer must appreciate
irony, isn't it ironic;
Thomas, no matter
how bad you want it,
you can't have it.
It's been decided, it's predestined,
long before you were born.
You lose, some win, but not you."
I faintly hear the dying song
of the sparrow, as I rise once again
and stumble towards the abyss.
-
Author:
Thomas W Case (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: May 7th, 2024 11:21
- Comment from author about the poem: Check out my you tube channel where I read from my recent book, Seedy Town Blues Collected Poems.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 32
- Users favorite of this poem: aDarkerMind, Teddy.15.
Offline)
Comments11
A poem of desperation well represented in ironic fashion. Nicely done.
Thank you so much.
goose bumps while reading a poem...
imagine that Thomas;
Thank you, Sir. Much appreciated.
made me wanna go reach for the codeine & maybe a handful of benzo's .. to drown out the sound of second hand thunder hitting home ..
"second hand thunder" mind of I steal these words? 😅
Lol. I'm glad I am past it. Cheers, Mate.
Good write T.
Erm, were they mini-storms, say 30 seconds each? That's a lot of storms for one night. lol.
lol Thank you.
That's a lot of weather too! lol.
Lovely, the words 'inner critic' kept me going until the end (in the hope that someone possibly defeated it)...been working on this aspect...rooting for balance!
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Calling a ravenous bird from the east, the man that executes my counsel from a far country: yea, I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass; I have purposed it, I will also do it.
I will bring near my righteousness; it shall not be far off, and my salvation shall not tarry:
Yes. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Love this, Thomas. And the sparrow kinda reminds me of Bukowski's bluebird. Nicely done. I'm a big fan of both of you. 🙂
Thanks, Tom. I appreciate it.
Beautiful, believing in one's self is not a given tool, we have to tell ourselves we are worth we are good at what we do, but seems to me especially in these times especially the young, truly believe they are worthless, not all but a great majority. A wonderful subject poem beautifully written. 🌹
I agree. Thank you, Teddy. You are the best.
Each parallel is fixed in its own path!
Great write!
Thank you, John. I appreciate that.
That inner critic sure likes to beat us up at times especially when we are desperate. You take it to a new level though Thomas.
Thank you for commenting. I'm much better now.
Insight.
Quite.
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