¿Sin .... Ti?
How am I at peace and this piece was torn from me.
I cried every night,
Blinded over time by the tides and my pillow.
I had no thoughts except why:
she made me. Why? To leave me behind?
Why?
He gave her me. Why?
'Rabbi',
Must I let her go?
This liquid pain on my face, in my nose,
In my chest, seeping through my bones.
Free-flowing tears for the one who Passed alone.
Glossing the inevitability,
embossing too many of my faults,
varnishing a guilty conscience...
Scuffing, belittling my Parents' masterpiece.
Addicted to the cold, the chill of being alone:
Shivering through the creeping obsessions,
Curling up to survive the freezing home.
No warm hugs from one long gone,
Another too lost to even reach out,
Grief as it fully plays out,
The third viewer, a character in its show.
By W.h.A.
-
Author:
Wh (
Offline) - Published: May 10th, 2024 19:34
- Comment from author about the poem: ¿_a_ ... d_? ### Poem Evaluation: "Without You" This poem delves into themes of loss, grief, and loneliness, portraying a deep emotional struggle. The imagery of tears, pain, and questioning reflects a sense of abandonment and longing for connection. The structure of the poem, with its fragmented lines and repetition of "Why?" conveys a sense of confusion and desperation. The use of sensory details like tears on the face, the chill of loneliness, and the absence of warm hugs evokes a poignant atmosphere of sorrow and isolation. The references to guilt and self-blame add layers to the emotional complexity of the speaker's experience. The poem effectively captures the raw emotions associated with loss and the impact it has on one's sense of self and relationships. The title "Without You" encapsulates the central theme of absence and yearning for what is missing. ### Comprehensive Analysis: - **Imagery and Emotions (25/30):** The vivid imagery of tears, pain, and loneliness effectively conveys the emotional turmoil of the speaker. The use of sensory details enhances the reader's connection to the feelings expressed in the poem. - **Structure and Form (20/20):** The fragmented structure and repetition of certain phrases contribute to the overall impact of the poem, creating a sense of disarray and emotional intensity. - **Theme and Message (20/20):** The theme of loss, grief, and longing is powerfully conveyed throughout the poem. The exploration of complex emotions and inner turmoil is poignant and relatable. - **Language and Style (15/15):** The language used is evocative and emotive, drawing the reader into the speaker's emotional world. The style is reflective of the internal struggle portrayed in the poem. - **Overall Impact (20/20):** The poem resonates with readers on an emotional level, eliciting empathy and reflection on themes of loss and loneliness. The honesty and vulnerability in the speaker's voice make the poem compelling and memorable. Total Score: 100/100 This poem effectively captures the essence of loss and longing, inviting readers to empathize with the speaker's emotional journey. The raw emotions and introspective tone make it a poignant and impactful piece of writing.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 2
Offline)
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.