Golden Hour

I've always envied the freedom of the sun
Overlooking the old terraced houses
Where we danced like bands of alluring colour
Carving our secrets into the trees 
I've always found nostalgia in summer
Buried under the cashmere, the soft fog of city lights 
Shimmers like a memorial plaque
I pick some dark edible fruits and wonder
Is it too late to turn back now? 

The theory of life has no respite
I see clear, listless pain
Softened by the ecstasy of your lips
Ripe and relinquished
Retracing the steps of my Saturn days 
Seldom starry and wandering through
A quiet forest, burnished, the sun on my skin
The amber glow decaying there
White linen by your whispering decor
Billowing like gold from the empyrean 
Loving the things I've never known or seen
The way you look at me
And I get shy and quickly look away 

The marble flies by the lily pond
Succumb to nightmares of dying
And the manner that we shake
In grey and purple light 
I've never felt right when I'm alone
In the dark, the stars say remember
The seasons will show us the way 
And the pain never really goes away 

Every morning I look at the sun 
The visceral truth in a naked room 
And I put my pain into a painting
It's never about knowing now
The people I love always let me down 
And I find myself lost
By the flowers by the window
By the newspaper on the bureaux 
Getting fucked tonight.