A debt I owe

A debt I owe

I want to deny myself. Every single time I want to.

But then I kneel before you, just to turn around and sin again.

I know you love me, and you always deliver on your promises.

So, if I truly love you like I say I do, then why can’t I keep them.

I wonder if it was the other way round would I be so forgiving?

Sin, forgive, sin, forgive, sin, forgive, Amen.

The question I must ask is do I love you more than I love the sin?

Will I choose you and resist or choose weakness and give in? 

Will I speak truth or lies?

Will I proclaim your name or deny?

Will I be humble or full of pride?

Will I trust in you or idols to provide?

Will I be generous or unkind?

Will I sit in prayer or go to others to confide?

But as I sit on that fence that the devil owns hopping either side,

Jesus chose to pay the price and be crucified so that I can be his bride.

For every time I do not resist,

I am another adding a thorn to his platted crown, a crimson stream marking his holy skin, 

I am another spitting on him looking down, as his holy hands hang on the cross wood to pin,

I am another throwing stones from the ground, at his holy body bruised and beaten,

I am another mocking his sacrifice on that mount, where his holy salvation would begin,

I have no excuse for he broke the power of sin.

So yes, I spend a lifetime wondering in a world where I know I do not belong, 

but a lifetime I get to live because you sacrificed your only son.

So next time I sit on that fence I must climb down to face you,

Because Jesus paid the price for my sin, and my debt is due.