Time

Time

I can always do it later, I say as I walk past the prayer mat.

I don’t feel like talking right now anyway, so it can wait till the conversation isn't hollow.

I can always do it tomorrow I say as I place the bible on the table edge.

I can't focus right now anyway, so it can wait till the words become easier to swallow.

I can always do it next week, I say as I wait till Sunday to repent.

I will be better next week anyway, so it can wait till I am ready to sacrifice and follow.

 

Is it not prideful to assume that I have a later to rely on.

Is it not idle to assume that tomorrow will come.

Is it not dangerous to assume that next week will be the one.

 

The thing is God I so often assume that I have that time,

Procrastinating, 

Anticipating,

Hallucinating. 

But the truth is I do not know. 

 

I don't know when my time will come to an end, 

or when my last chance is to mend, 

a relationship that I worked so hard to bend. 

 

To bend around what suited me rather than place you at the very centre,

because I think I know a better time to enter,

into your love and splendour.

 

What seems at first like such a demanding truth,

What do you mean I can't delay later, tomorrow, next week? 

Becomes a truth we must all appreciate and seek.

 

The truth is that none of us know what second will be our last. 

If I don’t act on your calling to follow and serve,

in a life you gave that I did not deserve,

Then what relationship even is there to preserve?

If I do not change from these ways,

How can I possibly face you and say,

Jesus I believe, and I proclaim your name,

For when you return you will tell me it is too late,

Because I did not keep my lamp burning as I wait.

 

I was too busy believing the devil that there is always more time,

So that I can justify my loiter with sin, idols and lies,

And before I knew it my oil runs dry.

My lamp no longer lit, and I have become blind,

So that when the Lord came knocking I would miss His time.