A friend dumped me

I got dumped by a friend, and it hurts

She was dear to me for some time

A girl of a friend who I grew fond of

In a friend way

And who

Helped me in darkness

Encouraging words and thoughts and meme’s

On the daily

She called me out when I needed it

Called my scared bullshit

But I didn’t help her like she did me,

She cried as she told me

I was a burden

I reminded her of him and memories of him

And it hurt her, it was hard to bare

Her heart is so broken and beautiful

And fragile and full of love, of wanting love, and giving love

She told me she hurts when we chat

And feelings of self worth are diminished when we chat

He did that to her and I reminded her of that

It was too hard for her to tell me

Her strength is inspiring that way

And so I told her lets stop talking - find and heal yourself

Those are the words that came out cracked and forced

From my mouth

But inside I was screaming NO NO I don’t want to lose you!

Not you too, please no

But I kept it in and I didn’t say my inner thoughts

I did that for her: she was already broken and

I couldn’t do that to her

So, now I will no longer be a burden for her

I will use my will and not reach out, ever, again

But I am sad, it pains me so

I looked forward to the surprise messages of

Strength and mental help and hope and funnies

I checked instagram many times after the talk tonight

And nothing was there

I hope she becomes whole again

So we can be friends again, someday