In a world so vast, I feel alone,
Surrounded by voices, yet on my own.
They seek me out when needs arise,
But never care for silent cries.
New faces, old, all the same,
A constant, endless, tiring game.
Prestige, money, career schemes,
They cloud my world, shatter dreams.
My heart, it aches, it breaks in pain,
Invisible tears, like silent rain.
I wear a smile, a fragile guise,
But no one sees the truth behind my eyes.
Patience wanes, I can’t endure,
Their taunts and jabs, so immature.
When I speak, I’m cast aside,
The worst of all, they all deride.
I hope, I dream, for someone kind,
Who sees the scars, the hurt behind.
A soul to cherish, understand,
To hold me close, and take my hand.
For now, I’ll seek the strength within,
To face the world, through thick and thin.
My worth is more than they believe,
One day, I’ll find the love I need.
-
Author:
Aavika (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: June 18th, 2024 15:26
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 3
Offline)
Comments2
Well written and expressed
Thanks a lot
You're welcome
I like this a lot. I like the broken flow of it. Sometimes that is what is needed.
I wouldn't want you to change your poem, it is just I read line 12 as "But no one sees my truthful eyes.". It makes the flow smoother for that 4 lines.
Just a friendly idea.
Thanks for your suggestion I'll work on that
You don't need to "work on" anything.
just remember the "eyes" have two sides. One looking forward, and the other inwards to your thoughts. That is where "sight" comes in. The truth is both in front and/or behind. My suggestion for me lets your poem indicate that the truth is in your mind not in front of you. The way the poem was going seemed like you wanted to indicate truth in the mind. sorry if I misunderstood that part of the poem.
you write good stuff, don't change for one suggestion, take many suggestions from lots and analyze the way you want to go.
have a great day
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