I hanker and pine for wood burning stove weather

I haint no spring chicken,
("Buk buk buk buk ba-gawk!")
but in Summer re:

long in tooth sexagenarian

nostalgic for the following imagery
evoked yesterday with very little effort
(aside from sweat of my brow – just existing)

June twenty second hazy, hot, and humid

at least here within the environs -

of Montgomery County, Pennsylvania

tooth thousand and twenty four,

the air analogous to a steam bath outside,
though such insight

strictly predicated on meteorologist
as seen on the flat screen.

Now before scrolling down
lemme forewarn you of dire prediction
reading about how yours truly
doth suspire for Old Man Winter

returning with a vengeance

delivering a white July Fourth, Halloween,

Thanksgiving, Christmas,

Groundhog Day, Saint Patrick's Day...

yours truly desiring experiencing

becoming comfortably numb,

after envisioning, invoking
then summoning forth cold spell.

Should deep freeze rain (reign)

crystalline precipitation pure as the driven snow

blanketing large swaths of webbed wide world

wreaking havoc courtesy
unparalleled blizzard conditions,

would stump and confound earth scientists

suddenly finding themselves pensively trumped
subsequently becoming overnight skeptics
and staunch Republicans to boot - argh,

who grudgingly, hesitatingly scrap

 

what seemed to be

irrefutable air tight evidence

with reams of data proving global warming
and side with deniers –

mostly non Democrats

courtesy artificial intelligence
hinting at inexplicable
significant ice age approaching,

barreling, and coming fast as a freight train
virtual models prognostication

would show Polar Vortex

engulfing the entire planet
clamping down hard

much of the United States

likely a couple short months in the future,

forecasting temperatures to register absolute zero

taxing the electric grids to heat lovely bones
chilling, freezing, immobiling civilization, whereby

government agencies regularly issuing
permanent code blue declarations,

 

which teeth chattering cold scenario

impossible mission to imagine or avoid
with wind chill factors in triple digits

Jack Frost overstayed courtesy welcome,

when climate controlled central heater
allows, enables and provides
man/woman made respite hooray,

apartment cozy as a poetry nook,

whereby yours truly his head he doth lay
(under crocheted blanket)

 

quickly slipping into deep sleep;
the missus (madre) and her padre

(me) taking a siesta until spring

in my dream I take treadway

from such new zzz land

to Piccadilly Circus, London,

welcoming me to early twentieth century

balmy weather all year round
place named Willoughby, where one

unnecessary to get bundled

 

and wrapped up –

like a mummy dearest

kvetching in vain at frigid forecast oy vey,

where surveillance cameras take x-ray

of suspicious character - Not Me,

while actually in reality
outside apartment B44

one after another Nor'easter
howls like bajillion banshees

vents wind chill factor

 

as temperature dips
into low double digits as high,

and subzero higher negative number as a low,

I summon (with a puff) fire breathing
friendly quasi magic dragon,

an acceptable and laughable substitute

calls for none other than Barney
purple anthropomorphic

Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur.

 

Though a non-smoker of cigarettes,
I discover pleasure slowly puffing
on my pipe, and chose one at random
from among the collection

made of briar wood, meerschaum,

corncob, pear-wood, rose-wood or clay
listening to crackling flickering hearth,

yours truly snuggling
(curled up in a little ball)
with favorite reading material
close proximity warming,
thawing, and quelling lovely bones.

 

For no particular rhyme nor reason
I lapse into a reverie
and hear the brutal and nasty wind
plaintively howling the song Molly Malone

her lilting voice distinctly heard
Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"

Meanwhile atavistic visitations hover
after hypnotizing mindscape

of twenty first century Homo sapien
as flashback visions of proto humans
commingling with competing

short and nasty brutes
brushes within subconscious
purring, mew zing catacombs

jump/kick starting, harkening,
dawning lion eyes zing

thawing ordinarily dormant memories,

where forebears alive bajillion years ago
battle him of the republic

thumping their chests

and uttering primal sounds

against vastly outnumbered predators,
who make mincemeat of weakest warbler
similar to contemporary beastie boy punk bands

survival of the fittest

linkedin to anonymous

 

Monkey's Uncle recherché representatives
toehold barely latched
precarious niche easily
activated punctuated equilibrium evolutionary quirk

imperceptibly bumped uglies
begot robust progeny

offspring expanding comfort zones
penumbra expanding edge of night
dark shadows receding further

outer limits of twilight zone

phantasmagoric shifting shapes
images in the flame
(hint...think Plato's Republic in general –

and Allegory of the Caves in particular -
synonymous with Allegory of the Metals)

alluring, beckoning, daring...

establishing, foraging, growing...

harvesting, invoking, jabbering

kowtowing, livingsocial,
Ashley Madison matchmaking tinder (ha)...

 

now lemme zip forward
back to the future
bajillion years somewhere in time circa 1970's
British comedy troupe

nudge nudge wink wink,

say no more
know what I mean courtesy
Monty Python's Flying Circus

rollicking humorous sketches

oft times tackling primal urges

proto humans initially verbally grunted,

 

where guffawing laughter

rewarded survivalist basic instinct

temporarily staving rabid
quivering premonitions outside

creature comfort boundaries,
whereby Geico Caveman

will remain till... dis ember

by George thoroughly good appetizer,
viz good chilled Wren plus

Pheasant under glass

burns away hunger pangs.