Birthday of beloved buxom babe I betrothed

Pardon my hyperbole if in fact such embellishment can be sifted out amidst the pretentious poetry and/or prose NOT aired to appear superior, but more so as passion for English language appeased courtesy reading and writing on a regular basis, yet infrequently challenging intellectual sparring, but please feel welcome to comment and/or critique some notion you (unknown reader) take objection toward.

A week shy of eighteen months
constitutes the difference in age gap
between yours truly
(me - no longer that lithe lad,
with washboard stomach and narrow waist,
and the Herrin, a once slender sylph

at then one hundred and five pounds -

ideal for her towering
four foot eleven inch frame)
born July 6th, 1960
within the environs
of Philadelphia,* Pennsylvania
*derived from the Ancient
Greek terms φίλος phílos (beloved, dear)
and ἀδελφός adelphós (brother, brotherly).

Our initial encounter (of the third kind)
took place circa nineteen ninety four
on a warm summer evening
at Summit Presbyterian Church
6757 Greene Street, Philadelphia, PA 19119
and about two years later
both of us fêted as groom and bride
by fellow contra dancers.

Gamophobia (a fear of commitment
or fear of flying into marriage)
scared the bejesus out of yours truly
upon being asked point blank,
countless times soon after we dated,
and soon shared the same sleeping space,
(no matter we both lived with our parents),
which salient question
impossible mission to answer
"I do" after being asked

about pledging my troth - no fallacy -
promising such lifetime allegiance
subsequently pricked psyche

with heady undo anguished suffering,

yet verily barely hindered me,

to spear my stiff little minuteman

into miniature portcullis,

and hence expressed nonverbal predilection
to be fruitful and multiply

courtesy seething hormonal secretions,

she tacitly assented also

to experience concupiscence
and taste figurative verboten fruit
for consensual sexual intimacy
initially found me coquettishly flirting

daring to let fingers do the walking
across erogenous zones

easily gravitating toward physical intimacy
cavalierly riding bareback,
throwing caution to the wind

hence no surprise

when the then girlfriend
ejaculated pregnant news
about a bun in the oven
and intimated she objected
to birthing an offspring out of wedlock,
thus we concurred to pledge our troth
courtesy Judge Henry J. Schireson
of Narberth, Pennsylvania.

Upon our (yours truly and his missus)
exchanging holy matrimony vows
July twenty fifth nineteen ninety four

(another poem for that occasion)

ultrasound allowed, enabled
and provided obstetrician to zoom,
image courtesy sonogram
showing fledgling fetus,
thus we pledged our troth

after spouses' womb
(approximately halfway
between her pregnancy) did balloon
uterus, wherein conception
delineated birth of eldest daughter
five months later, and many a tomb

morrow later she then
when these words first drafted

resided in Oakland, California.

I attempted reasonable rhyme about...

oh happy yesteryear
when newly minted groom (me) wed bride
family in attendance cried
as Justice of Peace officiated as legal guide
extolling pregnancy of she who could not hide

welcomed into the pudding club,

which matured inside

after two gametes fused and multiplied

countless times after nine months
quickly birthing embryo

baby on the way nullified

application of premarital sex,

and attendant use of contraceptives.

Clear out of the blue
thee wife asked me

opinion if wedded bliss between us,

cuz I never profusely expressed affection

no matter head over heels

puppy love found found the missus
analogous to dizzy dame gone cuckoo

until completion of third trimester –

28 to 40 weeks signalled parturition due

ha, how heretical to think

swearing off copulation altogether,

and decry repeating the experience of childbirth,

nevertheless spouse warmed up

to begetting a second progeny
upon beholding beautiful bundle of joy

receptivity to estrus did ensue

since romance long since flew

out the figurative window

impossible mission to feign significant other
analogous to brand new
alluring, beguiling, captivating... tchotchke.

All kibitizing aside, a requited love with zeal,

I attest invisible spokes supported unseen wheel

when turning sparking genuine care and concern

delivering selflessness with role of motherhood

acted as buffer against emotional hemorrhage

and received good housekeeping approval seal
more applicable to most recent
elapsed wedding day anniversaries
ex post facto after both daughters flew the coop
finding me reeling with empty nest syndrome,
whenever yours truly reviews mental newsreel,
now absence of offspring, akin
to psychological wound I did heal
no longer mourning natural course
of begetting progeny more readily
accepting their necessary autonomy doth appeal.

Though marriage in our golden years finds us celibate

devoid of that indomitable physical intimacy

with once fecund wife

both she and I get along swimmingly,

we exhibit less strife

than days of yore effulgence promulgated
to all readers unbeknownst to human life
form characterized by bloke,
whose words appeared across screen
exemplifying, embodying, and edifying
regarding beloved simian counterpart
bandying playfully sometimes
drubbing and drumming my body
while she deliberates
fluted helmeted jiggly Johnson

emulating sounds of skin tight fife.