The Cycle

I look at the time, 

It's 2:07 am. 

Jeez, all the hotlines I've tried haven't reached out to me.

But, it's fine. I've been stuck before. 

Or maybe I've just always been stuck?

I don't know, nor do I care

All I'm focused on is writing my thoughts in this silly notepad

I feel a clarity, but I know that the feeling will be gone and my vicious cycle of emotions will come back.

It's not always bad, 

There are good feelings as well as bad

It's the fact that the cycle is viciously changing and it feels like I have no control over it

I feel better mow that I am writing this out, even though the bad will come again

Hopefully I can be more prepared, but that never seems to be the case

I look at the time...