Flies in Berlin

It was never like this
Not before 
Never as bad as this 
Red plastic cup 
Filled with blue liquid 
Chain-smoking cigarettes
Trying to numb the pain
On a perfect day 
The sweat sticks to my skin
Dropped a watermelon
Switch the radio station 

I'm getting older
Gambling everyday
That's a funny way of saying
How I'm replaying conversations in my head 
Your lyrics fit perfectly
With my bad attitude
It's almost as if they enable me 

In a way I wish I was free
From every kind of disease
Living in a mess
Highbrow by design 
This year I turn 26
I'm watching the sky grow darker
Waiting for the day I see you again
This loneliness is never ending 
Seduced by sin

I ain't got much going on 
So I buy myself something new
A new place, something to do 
Move somewhere, smile more
I got lists, I never achieve
Feel like I'm going straight to the grave
Missing old friends, sick of the news
Missed appointment, nod and approve 
Show me the ropes, eavesdrop
Like the first time I took ecstasy
Tonight feels like Hell, but anyway
I've got something for you
Flies in Berlin 
Piss poor, motherfucker, knocking
Vibrator vibrating
Like a rising explosion
Melting through my body.