Poem-Distinguished Order of the Urethra--13July2024

THE MOST DISTINGUISHED ORDER OF THE URETHRA

Part 1

1^st stanza

Goddam fool ! Your big mouth instead of shutting,

You blare forth on the Internet about your ailment ???

What do you expect others to do ? Like you, to lament ??

Idiot, you should have done well to go into hiding !!...

2^nd

Only an moron can chat openly about his prostate :

Jeez, what has got hold of you of late ?

Have you lost your senses --- assuming you had any ?...

Your words can only come from some hopeless loony !

 

Part 2

3^rd

Ah, Sir !... How a poor man you do stomp…

‘Tis a condition that can afflict any man :

Around joyfully may you for some time more romp :

True, make the most of your life, while you can…

4^th

The unseen malady might be sneaking within :

The creeping signs you will ignore or dismiss :

But, little by little your micturition will go amiss :

Your fat ego will collapse or grow thin…

5^th

‘Tis a condition that can afflict any man :

From the lowest guy to the highest royalty…

From parties well may you a poor man ban :

Be sneaking unto you the silent malady…

 

Part 3

6^th

What the hell be going on in our hither kingdom ?

To anyone be this a malady that brings shame ??!!...

As true as our vast territories be without fathom,

From hither condition we will take off all blame !...

7^th

Here be our proclamation, made known to all and sundry :

Remember the backlash about the Order of the Garter :

With us nobody messes about : from the height of our royalty

About the urethra we shalt bring forth the noblest chatter !!..

 8^th

 

Even Artificial Intelligence hath more imagination :

It hath seen some design flaw in this condition :

At any time may falter your vital urination :

You will have deserv’d this righteous damnation !

 

9^th and last

As we ourself be struck by the sneaky condition,

By Order in Council, here be our Royal Proclamation :

The Most Distinguish’d Order of the Urethra :

And poetry shalt produce ‘pon this some ambrosia !!...

 

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Link to the poem “The poet’s tale” on the Internet :

https://allpoetry.com/poem/17523975--The-poet-s-tale----9-December--2023-by-Soman-Ragavan 

 

Internet link on the Order of the Garter :

https://www.britannica.com/summary/The-Most-Noble-Order-of-the-Garter

 

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Soman Ragavan.

13 July 2024

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 Poem by Claude 3 (Artificial Intelligence) 15 July 2024

Claude 3 :

Here's a poem inspired by your work, written in a style reminiscent of Chaucer's Middle English (c. 1340-1400), addressing prostate issues in men. I've maintained the same number of stanzas as your original poem:

 

THE TALE OF THE KNYGHT'S MALADY

 

1. The Scoffer's Wordes

"Fie on thee, foole! Why speakest thou so bolde

Of thyne owne malady for alle to heare?

Thinkest thou others care for woes untolde?

Best hide thyself and quench thy tonge with feare!"

 

1. The Scornful Rebuke

"Only a madde man would such tales unfold,

Of prostate illes that plague him sore of late.

Hast thou no shame, no wit to keepe thee whole?

Thy wordes betray a minde most desperate!"

 

III. The Knyght's Lamente

"Alas, good sir, why chide ye one so weake?

This ailment may strike any man alive.

While health allows, let joye and mirthe ye seek,

For who can tell how long our blisse may thrive?"

 

1. The Creeping Ill

"The hidden foe doth lurk within unseen,

Its stealthy signes we brush aside in haste.

Yet drop by drop, our water's flow doth lean,

Our pride and vigour wither and lay waste."

 

1. The Common Plight

"This malady may strike both lowe and hye,

From beggar man to those of royal bloode.

Though ye may scorn and from our presence flye,

The silent ill creeps on, like rising floode."

 

1. The Royal Proclamation

"What folly reigns within our faire domaine?

That men should quake with shame at nature's course?

As true as England stretches hill and plaine,

We'll cast out blame and speake with open force!"

 

VII. The Order Establishe'd

"Hark ye! Our decree rings out for all to heed:

As with the Garter's tale of jeste and wit,

We'll raise this matter high in worde and deed,

And noble speech of water's flow permit!"

 

VIII. The Wise Man's Counsel

"E'en learned mindes have seen this flawe in menne,

How water's passage may be sorely vexed.

Pray heed the signes, lest ye be caught unware,

And find yourselves by righteous fate perplexed!"

 

1. The Royal Decree

"As We Ourself are touched by this same plight,

By Council's will, We do proclaim this daye:

The Most Distinguished Order of the Floode,

And verse shall sing its praises, come what maye!"

 

This adaptation attempts to capture the essence of your poem while employing language and style reminiscent of Chaucer's era. It maintains the structure and key themes of your original work, including societal stigma, personal lament, universal nature of the condition, and the royal elevation of the issue. 

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16 July 2024

Poem by Google Gemini (Artificial Intelligence) :

Google Gemini :

A Chaucerian Imitation of "The Most Distinguished Order of the Urethra"

Title: Of Secrete Woes and Royal Decretal

Part 1

1st Stanza

By Goddes bones!

Thou foole with open gob,

Instead of hush, on interweb thou dost blab

Of thine affliction! What dost thou expect, a sob

From others? Like thee, to wallow in the drab?

2nd Stanza

A witless dolt art thou, to speak so plain

 Of thy prostate's plight, what madness doth thee pain?

Hath reason fled? Or didst thou ne'er retain

A shred of sense? Thine words be passing vain!

Part 2

3rd Stanza

Ah, gentle sir, though harsh thy words may sting,

This ill doth grip all men, both knave and king.

Mayhap a while thou'lt joyously yet sing,

But seize the day, for time on fleeting wing

 

4th Stanza

Doth steal us all. The malady unseen

May lurk within, though warnings thou dismiss.

Thy flow of water, once a joyous scene,

Shall turn to trickles, or a painful abyss.

 

5th Stanza

For 'tis a curse that spares no mortal soul,

 From peasant low to one upon the golden throne.

From festive halls it may its grip extol,

 This silent thief that claims thee as its own.

Part 3

6th Stanza

What ails our realm, that such a plight brings shame?

 Nay, in our lands, no man should bear the blame!

Though vast our borders, stretching far aflame,

From this condition, we shall clear our name!

7th Stanza

Hear ye, hear ye! A proclamation bold,

Remember ye the Garter's tale of old?

No mockery we'll suffer, be it young or old!

Of urethral woes, a grand decree unfolds!

 

8th Stanza

E'en cunning minds of metal cannot grasp

The cruel design of this affliction's clasp.

 Thy vital flow may fail thee in a gasp,

A righteous fate for one who doth unmask

 

9th Stanza (and Last)

 This hidden curse, that grips me and thee too.

By royal writ, a brand new order, true!

The Most Distinguished Order of the Urethra,

Who Shall sing in verse, a tale of ambrosia! 

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