Condemned To A Life of Tragedy

Holding onto something as trivial as flesh, bones and love
All of which will rot and rot and rot until they are no more
Rest in peace, but there’s no rest for those who’ve wronged
My sins haunt me like a spirit that comes and goes

I’m always stuck wandering by the side of the lake
Wondering if everything means anything at all
If I condition myself to be complicit in my oppression
I am a testament to the weakness that prevailed in my ancestors

The wind runs its ghostly fingers through my hair and hushes my grief
So much time wasted on fears, so much time spent on searching for higher ground
When the earthquake finally hit, I fell to my knees and it was cathartic to scream
Don’t tell me to be quiet in the face of my injustice for I will show you just how afflicted I am

There was a time I used to kneel and pray and beg for mercy
But now I see how ironically demonic religion is, and so I mourn
I grieve for the freedom that was snatched from my people in the name of worship
But my people can’t even be called mine because I’ve never belonged here

I am ashamed of the way my skin drapes against my soul
I can feel the searing blood rush through my sickly veins
As self-consciousness tightens its hold, I briefly make a wish
I hope one day I can return to the grinning girl who didn’t care for petty appearances

I am sick and tired of breaking open my ribcage over and over again
All they ever do is grasp my faltering heart and watch with morbid curiosity
As I frantically try to explain every little thing I do and how I’m just like them, really
I’d do anything for a morsel of tenderness, I’d kill for intimacy, and I’d die for a little affection

Trust is a double-edged sword
When my faith in the world diminished
I grew bitter at the cruelty of it all
And then I shut down and I’ve never been the same since

Though I try to act like I’m above love
I yearn for it so desperately that it aches
Somewhere deep down in my wretched soul
I still believe I’m not condemned to a life of tragedy