Happy birthday by the way

It’s another birthday without you.

How are you dear sunshine?

I have people giving me warm wishes, but all I think is how warm my sunshine’s birthday wishes are.

What they were.

Hers were comforting, her beautiful smile and happiness for my day of birth, her laugh as I try to tell her I didn’t need a gift and the way she’d comfort me when I got overwhelmed.

Now we act like strangers whenever we see each other.

Does your mom hate me?

She has every right to.

I hate myself too .

I had to let you go, I didn’t feel safe with my mother but oh how I miss you so.

My tears fill in the gap you- we made.

Your new friend filled my spot in ur heart.

I need a solution like yours but the idea of replacing you makes me well up and sick with anxiety.

But that’s life we let go and find others, I’m starting to learn that.

I have this friend you’d like, she’s been with me now.

I’m not trying to replace you, just making room in my heart for more people is all.

I hope [AGE] treats me well.

Like how you did.