тоска [part 2]

I do not wish to sleep.
I wish to be awake,
early mornings,
midnight.

I will always be lonely. Gazing
at the stars, the moon, with
a sense of serenity.
Not anguish, Nor
longing.

Today I feel sick, tomorrow nothing
time will march on, forever ever 
never will I care again
for once I did
but now no
more

I once wished to sleep dawn,
dusk, till the cusp of
my burdens burn
away or I
first

But I realized sleep I cannot, so sleep
I did not want, and so she learned
enjoy, open eyes, dark circles
half covered moon and 
dance your troubles
need nobody not
even mother
sorry
I would say
except mother I 
dont, I am carefree, 
mr. dark dark night I do not
dance for you, nor for the mistress of 
the lantern adorned, raging gold starlights
for I am a simple rose, forever and forever more, 
and I dance with words, string nonsense ever, ever more
so they spill out, filling my room, bursting out into the main foyer,
but out past the daffodils, the tulips, the rose, and the poppy they will never reach
the garden gates are shut, locked, boxed, tight, day till night, buried under words shall all my flowers stay.