They thought
God would right the wrong
Wrong done to them
For singing freedom's song
They sang the song,
Taboo in the land
Raised their voices
Left the Master with no choice
Ship has sailed
They are chained to the oars
'Keep rowing and don't stop'
What the Master told
The whip swishes through air
Welts spring up on their backs
Blood ooze out
Rivulets running on crisscrossed riverbeds
God hears their prayers
Prayers of the devoted souls
Chained and bound in slavery
Faith beyond hope
HE feels their angst
HIS eyes full of pain
HE can't save them
Master offers gold when he prays
Hey slaves, hear my voice
Hear it well
God loves you with all his heart
But he is chained by the rich people's wealth
God is in chains, so are you
One is of gold and another of iron
Held with rusting screws
You are your greatest foes
You row and let your master
Make his gold
Stop rowing and strand him at mid sea
See him wriggle
Like a terrified rat to save his skin
He will abandon his God
And so the God shall abandon him
If the master doesn't have his gold
Then slaves shall become the Kings
-
Author:
Rebellion In Sanity (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: October 12th, 2024 08:49
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 13
- Users favorite of this poem: Tristan Robert Lange
Offline)
Comments2
Wow, this poem is a powerful indictment of systemic oppression and the complex relationship between faith and economic power. Your vivid imagery is haunting, especially the line "Rivulets running on crisscrossed riverbeds." The alliteration here is masterful, driving home the brutality of the whip lash. I can almost see, hear, and feel it – truly visceral writing. Also, the progression from hope in divine intervention to the realization of wealth's corrupting influence is expertly crafted, and tragically true. Your final stanza's action call transforms the piece from a lament to a rallying cry. In my humble opinion, this really leaves a lasting impact. This is thought-provoking poetry at its finest. Well done. I am so happy I stumbled upon it.
Hi Tristan, many thanks for the read and your indepth analysis. It truly made my day. I try to communicate through the poems and your analysis shows that I have been successfully to an extent. May I make a small request please? I would be grateful if you could take a look at my earlier poems and share your thoughts too. Criticism is absolutely welcome. I would accept them as pointers for potential betterment. Thank you again Bhaskar
Oppression by wealth is what we suffer today. Marx madhis plea but as you can see it didn't work out his way. For a start you must change the heart of the people before the rulers. Greed is the seed that comes before the foolers. A powerful write that tells it as it is in metaphor and history.
Hi Sorren, your comments resonates so well with my beliefs. No 'ism' can change anything. The freedom lies in overcoming the greed. Please accept my thanks for the read and your thought provoking comments. Regards Bhaskar
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