Masochistic Mirage

In dreams of metaphors
I see you everywhere
With your crystal eyes
With your sensible hospitality 

I watch as you come and go
Allostatic overload
Absit invidia
I sit on the hot road

The remnants you left
Now they're hollow 
Everyday I'm falling apart
The pain of holding on
Cuts me like the sentiments
We painted from the ashes of fear 
Cruising for pleasure
On top of dead flowerheads 
I'm sorry I'm selfish
Slowly slipping away 

I get drunk and pass out 
Screaming through careless nights 
I confide in your masochistic mirage 
Idyllic as the soul 
Tempted by a devine lull 
In crowds of ecstasy 
Only your love could steal me away
But you never really look at me.