His last thoughts

His last thoughts

Why would I even want to care?

Why would I want to be aware?

At the wall, all day I just stare,

my thoughts with no one I share.

I have no point of view to spare,

nobody is let into my affair.

In my mind the noises blare,

my feelings unclothed and bare,

for your eyes to see nowhere.

The difference between un and fair,

my sleaves hiding emotional despair,

covered from the views everywhere.

Wanting to know why I should care,

why I would want to be aware.

Having no opinion to spare,

at the wall I continue to stare.

Repeating the beat a rhythm hears,

tapping thoughts in a patterned tone.

Vibrating with each sound that appears,

echoing waves tickling the bones.

Atrium to the ventricle the moves,

beating to the arteries of the lungs.

Through the veins each cell grooves,

listening to the notes being sung.

Into the melody the mind sears,

understanding that the one is alive.

This rhythm so vibrant and clear,

hidden, the heart alone it strives.

I sit now alone on a wooden seat,

listening to my heart continue to beat.

Looking out past the rivers view,

waiting to finish what I am here to do.

Rifle loaded and waiting by my side.

Tomorrow they will find I have died.

One round is all this will take,

I am tired of being awake.

With one trigger pressured click,

I will extinguish my candles wick.

Silence the beat of my heart,

Take this life of mine apart.

Fade into a darkened space,

Leaving my body in this place.

Click…..BOOM…..thud