Grief

How does one welcome grief? How much time is recommended for grief? 

Sometimes I wonder if my form of grief is healthy, suppressing all emotions and memories pretending as if I didn't know the person that I just watched the lid close on. Walking away with a smile comforting others, wiping their tears, telling them that everything is going to be okay. Why can't I do that for me? is there something wrong with me? Am I secretly broken? Surrounding myself into my work, putting on a brave face; deep down I am a bottomless pit looking for some type of guidance, do I turn left, do I go right, which way is up? 

Grief comes in many different forms and just because you don't see the grief that you are looking for on someone else doesn't mean that it isn't there. They just have a good way of hiding it.