Screaming at a God who Doesn't Listen

I scream all day and night,

begging for a place,

free from sight.

"Why? Why me?"

"It could've been anyone!"

"Why me?"

My scars crisscross

my body everywhere,

A line here and there

I remove a layer

of clothing and all I get

are whispers and stares

my thighs are begging to be

covered with

a blanket

my belly a pillow,

and my arms,

a jacket.

my life is defined by 48

pink little pills.

I shake when I hear the name.

my life is defined by a

man who couldn't keep

his anger in

my life is defined by

a woman who talks softly

and a stuffed bear I've had forever

and here I keep asking,

keep begging,

to be free of these burdens

I don't know how

to survive like this

much longer.

My throat is raw

from screaming at a god

who isn't listening.