**I Swear These Walls and Doors Move**  

I swear these walls and doors move,  
it’s not me bumping into them—  
I promise, it’s a conspiracy,  
a plot hatched by the house goblins.  

I’ll be walking with purpose,  
My snack in one hand,  
scrolling through memes with the other,  
believe me, I’m not clumsy—  
those doorframes just jump out at me!  

“Surprise!” they shout,  
as I trip over my own enthusiasm,  
roughly welcomed with my peanut butter and jelly,  
decorating the floor like modern art.  
The walls giggle softly,  
“C’mon, buddy,  
you knew we were hiding, right?”  

Last Tuesday, it happened again,  
I turned left, expecting freedom,  
instead, met a wall cheek to cheek—  
how rude! Didn’t even make a sound.  
I could’ve sworn it winked at me!  

And why are doors so sneaky?  
Like magicians in a magic show,  
one minute open, next minute closed—  
I’m standing there like an idiot,  
‘Do I wait for my own personal encore,  
or just ninja through the crack?’   

Chairs are in on it too,  
They conspire as a team,  
There’s no way I just bumped that stool,  
twisting my ankle like it’s ballet practice.  
I scratch my head, confused,  
wasn't I the one who waltzed in here,  
with the grace of a star athlete?  

Or maybe I just have a unique dance style:  
The “Watch Out for That Wall,”  
And “Oops, There Goes the Chair!”  
I'd win first place, hands down,  
if only I could pass the door twice!  

I’m beginning to think this house is alive,  
a living, breathing entity of wood and nails,  
The walls whisper secrets as I step away,  
calling me back like a lost puppy.  
“Stay with us, friend!  
We’ve got chairs to trip over!”  

So next time you see me give a little hop,  
Cuz that door just flicked its wrist,  
and this wall threw a surprise party!  
They move, I swear—  
Dancing partners in my daily shuffle,  
the only way I’m getting fit these days!  

So here’s to the walls and doors,  
played by the universe’s twin jesters—  
let the snacking and stumbling commence,  
as I dance my way through this flunky maze!  

Because I swear these walls and doors move,  
And I? I’m just doing the cha-cha with my snack!