The Weight of Silence

I look back at my

Childhood self and ask

Where I went

Wrong.

What did I do to deserve

Such harsh treatment?

Bullied and abused;

Cutter and suicidal.

Ignorance is sweet

Bliss; I cannot stop

Thinking of the days I spent

Weeping over my past self.

My inner child is dying

To be let out, and I can't

Bother listening to what

She's trying to say.

I'm so tired, tempted to

Close my eyes and rest

Until I'm fired, dying in a 

Dreamland.

Being dragged by the ankle

Is exhausting work, just let me

Be and do not lurk;

I'm crying so I don't die.

I'm the elephant in the room,

The secret always told;

I'm the sadness on my mother's face

And the regret on everyone else's.

I'm the anger in my chest and

Clenched fists, I am pain,

The epitome and definition,

Undeniable and uncontrollable.

I've been screaming

At everyone and

Everything since I was

Ten.