Many British thermal units* later

Vice linkedin to carnal flesh this writer,
(a married heterosexual doofus, –
whose alter egos
named and highlighted courtesy

Gallant and Goofus) attones
to heat these lovely bag of bones

amazingly graceful human specimen
more so than required to generate clones,

whose jibber-jabber feeble poetic words

crafted for no particular rhyme nor reason

analogous to babbling drones
aging musculoskeletal physique groans

kvetching synonymously nsync
with (metronome like) tick tock

where alphanumeric, esoteric, and generic

garden variety alter kocker

(eons ago a foo fighting

beastie boy baby boomer) and/or like

kin himself to famous mummified Pharaoh
ala King Tutankhamun's moans
wrapped in long strips of linen,

indistinguishable among rolling stones
netting sometimes wrapped

each finger and toe individually
against many future unknowns

as the soul of mine traveled across cosmos
temporarily filling black hole sun,
and kerplunked across space/time continuum

easily mistaken for
pinteresting soundcloud virtual xylophones
providing an x uber rent lyft
along the edge of night
amidst dark shadows
to the outer limits of many twilight zones.

Hence, I will beg, borrow or steal loot
and make a fair trade

with a paperback writer,

who exudes profound wisdom

as keen philosophical thinker
oh no... no... no, this
non smoking bandit, nor drinker
will explain to police officer,
that me willingly doth plead

guilty as freshly showered stinker

without spectacles yours truly
can only blinker

if nabbed he

submissively relinquishes freedom

to do time inside

state of the art clinker,
where ample heat warms hoodwinker
covering mine rickety musculoskeletal,
while escorted to attend requisite
appointment with headshrinker
with the icy name of Mister Rinker.

Token Doubting Thomas here
resorted to life of
doggone petty crime without fanfare
for this common man
dirt poor bloke who doth air,
(not that anybody

will give a rat's a$$, nor care

a jot regarding me
squalid shiftless schlepper
bereft of a place to call home

anemic checking and savings accounts
with Citizens Bank
describes my financial welfare),
and similar to Scrooge,
(who mutters "bah humbug**"
grossly dislikes Xmas time of year,
not always the case with yours truly,

cuz as a lad din

Southeastern Montgomery County

one cute as a button little boy with

short cropped strawberry blond hair,
(unadulterated, accursed and unbiased
opinion), aye declared
papa tricked out as Santa Claus

divine and stood bug eyed
while shopping with mother
and siblings amidst
madding crowd
(at the King of Prussia Mall)
then no living nightmare

not like today November twenty ninth

tooth how sinned twenty four

bajillion people angrily glare
with livid rage expect
whistleblower shrill shrieking
against crass consumerism thru air
courtesy bull-let-in aiming crosshair,
whereat vendors pushing merchandise
hooping he/she can scare

up brisk business, hence

caveat emptor i.e. buyer beware
aside from aforementioned
hypothetical scenario - I won't ever
overspend credit cards,
which profligate net spending
occurs within glorious land
of bilk and money
Amazon qua America OnLine,
the home of the free..., where
distribution of wealth very unfair.

Yukon still experience
enjoyment of beauty,

according to this poet
of Perkiomen Valley
with less sense and sensibility
than a baboon, or other naked ape,
cuz his pride and prejudice got in the way
while seeking love and friendship,
nevertheless he can bet

dollars to donuts (with glazed eyes)
without oneself spending themselves silly

garnering mountain due of debt

subsequently cue sax and violins
gently weeping (think guitar coming

unstrung at every fret),

thus... ya gotta get get
aware simple pleasures
experience mindfulness, such as
zipping across globe on private jet
hobnobbing with rich and famous,
then swinging by utmost secluded
unconventional monastery, and meet...

nun other than one cell bated abbott
cost 'ello to thine reverent Mother.

* - The exact origin of the British Thermal Unit (BTU) is unclear, but Thomas Tredgold, a British railroad engineer, is the closest person to being credited with its discovery. Tredgold's definition of the BTU was the quantity of pounds avoirdupois that would raise the temperature of a cubic foot of water by one degree Fahrenheit.

** - The word "humbug" has been used since the 1700s to describe something or someone that is false or deceptive. It's also been used to describe a trick played on unsuspecting people. The word's exact origin is unknown, but some theories include: For example, you might say "Bah humbug!" if someone won't let children play catch on their lawn