Things I Heard at an Audiology Appointment

i'm sorry, i lost 

myself

this morning.

and it got me thinking,

don't we

all?

i lost myself in

my drowning thoughts,

in my dissociation.

i lost myself in

a book about a girl

with more courage than me.

i lost myself in

my depression,

in my tears.

i lost myself in

your ocean-blue eyes,

in my love.

i lost myself in

conformity, in trying

to stay with everyone.

i lost myself in

the inner workings of

my own mind.

i lost myself in

the blade in my

own hand.

i lost myself in

food, in the number

on the scale.

i lost myself in

my father's eyes,

in the hurt.

i lost myself in

drowning my sorrows

in alcohol.

i lost myself in

the 48 pink pills

I used to try to die.

i lost myself in

a pool of blood,

in the bathtub.

i lost myself in

gym class the other

day, reliving my past.

i believe i find

myself lost fairly

often.

but

eventually,

after

minutes

hours

days

i find myself again.