Curl, Heave, and I’ves Plum Puddin’ Disaster

Sung to ‘Have a Holly Jolly Christmas’ by Burle Ives

Have a hardly jolly Christmas
It's the wurst time of the year
When you’re old and sore
Drip cough and snore
Half a craps your fear

Ho Ho 
You want to go
Butt ooh can hardly pee
Presents waiting there for you
Underneath the T

Have a hardly jelly Christmas
It's the waist time of the year
Yule want to go
Butt U cant snow
Your best is half a smear

Oh Oh
The missing po
Hung where you can't see
Some body dangles there for you
Keyster once for me

Have a wholly jelly Christmas
And in case you hard of hear
HAVE YOURSELF 
A JOLLY HOLE-EEE!
X MASS 
THIS YEAR