Never Have I Ever

Never have I ever

wished so hard for bruises

for cuts, for blood for scars

A physical representation

of the pain and the destruction

you left in your wake

Never have I ever

grieved so hard

for someone who isn't six feet under

who still lives and breathes

but not with me

Never have I ever

felt so lonely and broken

like a child all over again

left to fend off the darkness

all on my own

You promised

I'm drunk off the lies that you told me

The nevers disappearing

leaving a burn as I swallow each one

the bitter taste lingering long after

Never did I ever

think you'd be the subject of a poem like this

imagine things would end this way

believe you could hurt me the way they all did

Yet here we are

Never did I ever...

I'll drink to that