loved

do you feel loved?

do you feel cherished?

do you feel safe?

they weren’t questions i was expecting to be asked
and lately i’ve found questions hard
but i actually liked being asked these ones
because it felt like someone wanted to know me
not just on a half-hearted, superficial level

these days have had me
sobbing on my knees
falling into the same bad habits
keeping myself up to avoid paralysis
working less for enjoyment
and more to survive
trying to remember what
contentment feels like

and my courage is lacking
patience is cracking
but i know i will get better

i didn’t expect so much support
a check-in
a how are you holding up?
i’m here to support you
if you need me, call me
i wish i could give you a hug

my life
has always been full of love
i don’t need to find it
the world
couldn’t even try to hide it

these days
have really tested me
had me relearn how to deal with grief
but while i search for love
it is all around me

yes, i feel loved
yes, i feel cherished
yes, i feel safe

and though im yet to fully heal
i’ll get there someday.

12:11am - 17/12/24.