I Bought You a Hoover.
It comes round so quick the special time of year.
To buy a present for all those whose life you share.
My beloved partner made out her exhaustive list.
I looked carefully upon the things that she wished.
Some were general but some were very personal.
Some were run-of-the-mill some were pleasurable.
One caught my eye as I tried to make a decision.
Because its details were listed with such precision.
Cordless & Battery powered only; not to be electric.
The long-lasting batteries must be very easy to fit.
Variable speed control to suit all possible situations.
Be straightforward to use without any complications.
Must be able to operate on a multitude of surfaces.
To get into all the nooks, holes, crannies and crevices.
Fully waterproof just in case of unexpected spillages.
And have personal insurance in case of any damages.
Needs a volume control so it's quieter to use at night.
Either fluorescent in parts or have a little bright light.
Interchangeable variable heads would come in useful.
I thought to mess this up I would be a complete fool.
Armed with all the information, off to the shops I went.
I wanted the best, not caring how much money I spent.
Asking salespeople which one meets all the requirements.
Funny Looks, when asked if they personally had tried them.
Eventually I chose the best one and I paid all my money.
I struggled on the bus to get it home as it was quite heavy.
I spent hours carefully tying & wrapping it up so beautifully.
Then under the Christmas tree waiting for Christmas Eve.
Presents handed out to all and I am feeling really excited.
For once is this the present she wanted and so anticipated.
I said happy Christmas Darling I read your list very carefully.
I hope this gives you satisfaction and makes you happy.
She had a glint in her eye as she tore the wrapping paper off.
When she saw the present, I saw her face completely drop.
I said I bought you the best I could for my wonderful lover.
It is the latest, top of the range, all singing & dancing Hoover.
Tobani December 2024.
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Author:
Tobani / Nataiella (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: December 23rd, 2024 02:30
- Comment from author about the poem: I had a pen and paper last night and this came out, i have no idea where from. Fresh to Press.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 27
Offline)
Comments10
Freshly received as well. Now go back to the shops and get her what she really wanted! Quite fun read. And such a quick turnover from inspiration to ‘print.’
Thank you for your feedback, much appreciated
You’re welcome 🙏🏻
I love the tone of this poem and how it goes. Despite best intentions and work and money some people are never pleased and some people despite how hard they try can't read the desires of others. In this social miscommunication so much is lost. The detail demanded in a gift always bothers me in that a gift should be given from the heart not demanded from the start. A fun write with a moral
Thank you for your feedback, i totally agree if demanded it is then not a gift
Yes, and in return, she got hubby a drill, screws and some drywall! 😂 Seriously, enjoyed this fresh poem. Love when the muse hits like that! Well done, friend! 🌹👏
Thank you for your feedback, much appreciated
You are welcome!
Well done, my friend. I appreciate the humor.
Thank you for your feedback, always appreciated.
Made me chuckle no end .. I trust you had something up your sleeve to fall back on .. 🧑🎄👍
Ye she got her toy, Thank you for your feedback, have a good evening
Awesome 😎 fresh off
the press write!! 👍
The imagery of her
face dropping 😟
was dynamite!! 🧨🧨
Thanks for sharing my friend!🏆
Best regards ✌️ Thad
Thank you for your feedback, as always appreciated
Well, I guess, " princesses" don't appreciate hoovers!
Thank you for your comment, much appreciated.
A wonderful Christmas story. Enjoyable. Well done
Thank you for your feedback, much appreciated
That would cause a ‘Vacuum’ in a relationship. She should take you to the ‘Cleaners’ . You are ‘Dyson’ with Death . I’m sorry, it’s been a long day . Enjoyable Poem. Nice One.
Wee what can i say, all those Pun`s has cleaned me out. Thank you for your feedback, much appreciated
My Pleasure.
Very entertaining poem, TN. Any truth to this and your happy life could be in danger. As the saying goes, "It's a Dam Hoover." - Phil A.
Thank you for your comment. much appreciated. I never did but i bet many have
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