They will not forget that bright sunny day,
Those two friends who went on a wild joyride
Into a remote wood not far away,
Down a path they were told demons reside.
Yes, those friends went out on a wild joyride
And parked their junky car when they arrived—
The end of the path where demons reside.
A place, it’s been told, no one has survived.
Parking their junky car when they arrived,
They got right out and were given a fright.
This was a place where no one had survived.
What they saw was an awful, grotesque sight!
The friends got out and were given a fright,
A raccoon—teeth bared—on its back and splayed.
What an awful, horrible, grotesque sight,
Its blood and entrails spilled out on display.
That raccoon’s teeth bared—on its back and splayed—
Caused both of those teens to start and then jump.
All its blood and entrails spilled on display
The teens fell onto their car with a loud thump.
Yes, both of those teens did start and then jump
And, before running toward an old white house,
The teens fell onto their car with a loud thump;
But, from there, they were quiet as a mouse.
Following running toward the old white house,
The teen friends dared to go on up inside.
They, while in there, were quiet as a mouse
Investigating a cool place to hide.
The teens, having dared to go on up inside,
Noticed that people had up and just left—
Leaving them a cool place to come and hide—
Leaving stuff and, since then, there’s been no theft.
Noticing that folks had got up and left—
Swatters on the wall, dishes in the sink—
All of their stuff there, there had been no theft.
It caused them to stop, pause, and then to think.
Pictures on the wall, cups in the sink—
They could not even hear the gentlest sound.
As they stopped, paused, and started to think
Of why people left; why there’s no one around.
They did not even hear that gentlest sound
That was humming like wind above their heads
Thinking on why people left—not around;
They even left silky sheets on their beds.
There was buzzing like wind above their heads;
Which, at that moment, caught their attention.
No longer concerned with “no one around”
Their fear grew to a whole new dimension.
For, yes, the buzzing caught their attention
And they saw that the ceiling was moving
Their fear rose to a deeper dimension
That yellowjackets would hear them grooving.
Yes, they saw that the ceiling was moving
As they slowly started to back on out.
Hoping those wasps didn’t hear them grooving.
Or they’d be the next ones dead without doubt.
Thus, they successfully backed right on out.
No, they won’t forget that bright, sunny day,
They could’ve been the next ones dead, no doubt,
In a remote wood so not far away.
© 2025 Tristan Robert Lange. All rights reserved.
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Author:
Tristan Robert Lange (
Online) - Published: January 16th, 2025 09:32
- Comment from author about the poem: Form: Pantoum; Meter: Pentameter. A true story.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 13
- Users favorite of this poem: LP2187
Online)
Comments5
This sounds so much like a story that kids would tell and the fear they would try to put into other kids. When I was small there was an abandoned house in a field and we used to go there break in and invent stories like this. A fun read
🤣 Indeed. It does come off as one of those embellished stories, though I kid you not, this was 100% true. I was one of those silly teenagers! 🤣 And I swear, I will never unsee that raccoon. I have no clue why it was there like that, but it was not a natural death. Human cruelty caused it. Demon's Alley was (they've since torn it down) a bunch of abandoned houses in Passaic County, NJ. Off in the woods, but not far from the highway. I believe they were originally for people working the Newark Watershed and when the jobs were up, they left. What was odd, though, was how they left stuff lying around like they were there one day and up and left the next. A totally haunting feeling. And who knew, yellowjackets like to break into abandoned houses too! 😳 Never been more frightened in my life than when I saw that ceiling. Anywho, here's to the daring, reckless, and dangerous things we do when we're young! 🤣 Thank you so much, Soren, for your time and your feedback. I am glad the poem delivered for sure! ❤️🙏
Ooh yes, book a holiday for the mother-in-law to go there! heehee.
Indeed! A perfect holiday spot for the in-laws. Send them on over! 🤣 Thank you, Orchi, for reading and engaging! ❤️🙏
The horror of an adventure goes wrong... A really effective poem which was so compelling and unsettling, I enjoyed the read! Thanks for sharing!
Glad it delivered, my friend. I am also glad I survived that day to eventually write the poem and tell the tale, as I was one of those two crazy teens! 🤣 I have often told the story to friends and family, and it only occurred to me a few days ago to write it down. I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for your time and feedback, as always! 🙏❤️
Well, you've written it down perfectly, you're very welcome!
❤️🙏
Wow!! 😳
What a creepy and
scary good write!! 💯👍
I'll be dreaming 'bout those
buzzing yellow jackets tonight!! 😱
Awesome job with that form!!!🤩
Best regards ✌️ Thad
Bro, I have yet to unsee them or that damn raccoon! I'm not sure why it took me till now to write that story down, but glad I did and that it delivered! Thank you for buzzzzing on over here and letting me know your thoughts, my friend! Always appreciated! ❤️🙏
Jeez mate, even the form n the meter had me bricking myself .. You also made me think back on when as kids we used to dare each other to enter old dead Betsy Drury's cottage hidden deep in the woods and where even on the brightest of days no one ever lingered for more than a few seconds ..
I would be very proud if I had poemed this one Tristan & no kidding .. Neville 👍😎👍
Wow! Old Dead Betsy Drury’s cottage must’ve had a hell of a story attached to it! Thank you, Neville! I am glad that you enjoyed the poem and that it dug up Ms. Drury’s (so-to-speak 😂). Much appreciated, as always, my dear friend! 🙏❤️
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